Britney Spears Does A Half-Naked Dance With A Dislocated Knee, Tiff Amber In A Black Bikini & Is Arch A Bust?

It hasn't rained here (yet) for the first time in five days, it was 73 degrees this morning, and today marks the first of 49 (!!!) straight days with football on the TV. 

And if that doesn't get you geared up for a big Hump Day, you are in the wrong class. Hell, you're in the wrong BUILDING. Maybe the wrong campus altogether. Get outta here! We've got a full day of humping to get to! 

Let's do it right. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where Britney Spears battles adversity to pump out #content like it's 2000 all over again. 

What else? I've got an insane JordOn Hudson stat, Tiffani Amber sets the tone in a black bikini, our first MLB playoff streaker of October, and is Arch Manning already a bust? The woke New York Times is taking some heat today for a certain headline, but I'm not sure they're that far off. 

I also just watched Arch gift the Gators a win over the weekend and force us to watch Billy Napier a few weeks longer, so I'm admittedly biased at the moment. 

Anyway, let's get to it. Grab you a FLUFFERNUTTER (!!!!!!!) for National Fluffernutter Day, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

Is Arch fluff?

I mean, National Fluffernutter Day on a Hump Day? Are we lucky, or WHAT? As Doug Heffernan once said, "I know we’re all God's children, but sometimes I think he likes me extra special."

Are fluffernutters still a thing? That's a serious question. Does Gen-Z even know what a fluffernutter is? I'd wager to say most of them don't. I feel like they fell off around 2008, but that could also just have been when I graduated middle school and stopped eating them. 

There was no better feeling for fat, 12-year-old Zach than opening up his lunchbox in middle school and finding a fluffernutter sammy in there. Nothing quite like it. Perhaps that's why he was fat, 12-year-old Zach? I'd imagine there's a correlation there. 

Anyway, enough of that. Is Arch Manning a bust? Is he all fluff? See what I did there? Not my best, but it's the best I had. 

The New York Times thinks so, and college football Twitter is PISSED today:

Arch ain't (yet), but Bill & JordOn are!

So, this story is taking A LOT of heat today. It's sizzling. I'm not one to ever agree with anything the insufferable NYT publishes, but I'm not sure this deserves all the scrutiny it's getting. 

Arch isn't a flop yet. That's obviously silly. He's played five games. From what I remember, Joe Burrow stunk through five games in 2018, too. That turned out OK. 

But it's not an outlandish question to ask, especially given that we live in an era where college football players make more than 99% of the country. You want to be paid like a professional, you're going to get scrutinized like one, too. 

I used to always say college athletes are somewhat off-limits, because they're just kids and not getting paid anything. 

That's not the case anymore. Arch Manning is making, allegedly, around $6 million this year in NIL money. The Texas Longhorns are 3-2 and unranked. He's not a flop, yet, but this era of college football makes the question totally justifiable. 

All that being said, the New York Times is garbage and I can't believe I allowed that drivel into this class. 

Anyway, let's go from one spiraling football program to another! Welcome back to class, JordOn!

getty

Broken Britney, playoff push, Tiff Ann & the NFL is SOFT!

How about that pic of JordOn Hudson and ACC commish Jim Phillips? What in the world do you think they're talking about? I can't even imagine. 

Well, on second thought …

Unrelated to anything, of course. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this Hump Day into a Hump Night. First up? Let's go ahead and stay on the gridiron and check in with Cardinals coach Jonathan Gannon:

What did I tell you when we spoke Monday?

Whooooooooof. Can't wait for the Libs to get a hold of that video. They'll have Jonathan Gannon issuing a teary apology by the 6 p.m. news. 

For those of you who actually played football back in the day, we call that "Monday practice." I can't say half the things I was told to do myself in this class. Most of them would be physically impossible, I assume. 

Right on cue! Amazing. Saw it coming from a mile away. Between this, the goofy kickoff, and the giant helmet condoms players wear now, we're about three years away from flag football. Can't wait!

Next? Let's check in with the MLB playoffs as October heats up:

LOVE the plan here. You don't see an onslaught like this very often. Creative. Using one guy as a decoy so the other dude can give it a go? Chess, not checkers. The second guy almost made it, too! Shades of Dyson at the goal line in 1999. Almost!

Two more on the way out. From two streakers, to one gal who 100% would be a streaker if she were ever allowed in a ballgame unsupervised:

Oh no! Be safe out there, Britney! Can't have our girl going on the IL right when the fall starts. Good to see she's working through the injury here. Wrap that leg up, stick it into place, and get to dancing. That's called doing your job. 

Thanks for grinding, Britney! Let's keep pumping out #content. 

OK, that's it for today. Good Hump Day. Let's end it strong. And by that, I mean ending it with 51-year-old Tiffani Amber Thiessen still pumping 98 on the corners. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Where do we stand on Arch? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.