Bodycam Footage Shows Anti-Trump Lunatic Beating Woman With Flagpole

You will be shocked to hear this, but we have yet another case of Florida leading the way in this country. Goodness gracious. Aren't y'all – and by "y'all" I mean the rest of the country – embarrassed by us constantly being the example? Doesn't anyone want to step up?

Our backs HURT at this point. 

• COVID. 
• How to properly run an election. 
• How to rebuild after natural disasters. 
• How to properly deport. 
• How to deal with lefty lunatics who beat women with flagpoles. 

We do it all!

Speaking of that last one … let's go ahead and head on down to West Palm Beach, where an anti-Trump protester (all eight of them in Florida) managed to beat a woman with a flagpole outside of Trump International before promptly being arrested and charged with battery. 

These protests are all the same

Incredible. Nothing – and I mean nothing – annoys me more than these stupid Saturday morning protests. They are SO stupid. I know they're our right, but still, they are just insufferable. 

It's just a bunch of smelly old people who used to be hippies back in the 70s, and haven't showered in weeks. They're all gross. Trust me, I see them all the time. And it's the SAME folks every, single time. 

Old. White. In their 70s. Stinky. Don't brush their teeth. Every time. And there's, like, 20 of them. It's so cute. They have silly signs that call Trump a fascist and have the Nazi symbol over Elon's face. Some call Trump a king, which is funny given they wouldn't be allowed to protest under a dictatorship. 

Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially annoyed, I like to roll down my window so they can see my Gulf of America hat, should I be wearing it that morning. That's always fun. They expect me to salute them, and then BAM – immediate disgust. The best. 

This loser was ID'd as Paul Messer. According to boots on the ground (photographers), this lunatic was carrying a "F--k Trump" flag at the "Not My President" protest. Sounds like a blast! Imagine, just for a second, spending your Saturday morning doing that. What a life. Amazing. 

Anyway, that's the flag he started beating the woman in the 47 hat with. Naturally. It's the party of love, you know!

"Messer was holding a flag attached to a metal flagpole ... deputies observed Messer strike the female multiple times in the upper chest and neck area with the metal flagpole," a deputy wrote. "The victim stumbled backward and sustained visible redness to the right side of her neck."

Luckily, Palm Beach's finest were on the scene quickly. Also, we don't live in Minnesota, so it was handled in about four seconds because we're adults. 

Weird how that happens down here.