A Generational Blooper, Merry Christmas Is Back, And Andy Reid Wants To Do What To Our Tonsils?

Happy Tuesday, and welcome to another edition of Nightcaps, with your substitute Nightcapper for the afternoon, Matt Reigle.

That's — *Writes on chalkboard* — Mr. R-E-I-G-L… Well, I started to close to the edge and ran out of space, but you get the idea.

I hope you're easing back into reality this week after the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm sure the supply of leftovers has been heavily depleted, and that's if it's even still there.

This means that we've hit the Christmas season. And I mean for real. I'm on the official calendar, not the one the folks at Target are using, because I saw them setting out some nutcrackers in October, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

But since it's officially time to enter Christmas mode, I did exactly that this weekend. I mean, I was full-on yuletide douche, it was great.

The wife and I hit up a Christmas pop-up bar at a nearby hotel and had a nice time.

What is a Christmas pop-up bar? It's like a regular bar, just with as many bits of Christmas decor as they can cram into the place and more expensive drinks.

Then we headed over to Universal Studios to check out their Christmas decorations and merch that they're hoping you'll empty your wallet for.

It was a jampacked Christmas-ified weekend, and now that I'm back to work, I might have kept it going by throwing on a little Bing Crosby while I write, because who's going to stop me? You? I don't think so.

Not when the President of the United States has made it crystal clear that we're all saying Merry Christmas again this year.

Merry Christmas Is Back, Baby!

In yesterday's edition of Nightcaps — which was a Zach Dean classic, by the way; when the Time Life collection of Nightcaps comes out it'll be in it — there was a fun A-B comparison of this year's very tasteful, classic Christmas display and Biden's Christmas display that looked like they gave a bunch of high school theater kids a White House credit card and told them to go crazy.

But, not only is a dignified Christmas display back, the President himself let everyone know that saying Merry Christmas is too!

You love to see it, but I've got to confess: I'm sometimes guilty of going the "Happy Holidays" route.

I'm not proud of it, and it's not because I'm trying to score some lib brownie points (lib brownies would be bad, by the way; I bet they have flaxseed in them or something). It's because we've got Christmas crammed up against New Year's.

Those are both big ones. You've got to wish someone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year when you see them, but what if you need to get both at the same time?

You could wish them a "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year," but that's wordy, so "Happy Holidays" covers both bases in one fell swoop.

But then the wokes came and bastardized this, so my hunt for word economy has people thinking I wear a mask in my car on the way to a protest.

Not cool, but welcome back. Merry Christmas, nonetheless.

I Can't Stop Watching The Younghoe Koo Blooper

I love sports, and I love comedy, which means that I've always loved sports bloopers for as long as I can remember. 

The Butt-Fumble.Jose Canseco getting bonked in the head by a flyball. Mariner Moose crashing into the outfield fence while rollerblading behind a four-wheeler.

Love 'em all.

But we rarely get a new generational blooper that we will watch for years to come. Lucky for us, that's what Giants kicker Younghoe Koo gifted us when he went all Charlie Brown on all of us against the Patriots on Monday Night Football.

And I can't stop watching it and the accompanying memes.

From Monday night, you will not be able to think of the name "Younghoe Koo" without thinking, "Oh yeah, he's the guy who kicked a divot for the Giants!"

Not fun for him. Fun for all of us.

Stephen King Gets Triggered By People Dressing Nicely On Planes

Stephen King is one of the greatest writers of our time, but it's easy to forget that, given how insane he has gotten over the years.

The president and everyone in his orbit can't so much as breathe without King hopping on X to tarnish his reputation.

The latest instance came on Monday, and it is such a wild reaction to a Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy's reasonable suggestion for how to improve the flying experience: don't dress like a slob on planes.

What a leap! This is more ridiculous than that time King definitely didn't rip off The Simpsons Movie for his book Under the Dome.

I'm not sure how he went from "Hey, how about showing a little pride and not wearing Cookie Monster lounge pants while flying in a big metal tube with strangers" to "Make me a sammich, lady!"

That's not where my mind went, but for Steve, it was pretty close to the surface.

Weird.

For what it's worth, I'm all in favor of people dressing like we live in a civilized society.

The bar's not even that high. Wear clean, non-stained clothes that you wouldn't sleep in, and you're fine.

Is This The Worst Looking Playing Surface Of All-Time?

Few things in sports are as divisive as different colored playing surfaces.

I mean, Boise State's blue turf always divides the room, and the NBA is always getting some flak for those in-season tournament courts, especially when they're deemed to be dangerous.

But I don't think I've ever seen any as frustrating to look at as the Kalamazoo Wings' special Wicked-themed pink and green rink.

I get why minor league teams do this, and obviously it did its job because we're talking about it, but I'm not going to lie, looking at that makes me nauseous.

And I don't mean that the traditional clean white ice is sacred, I mean, there's something about the pink and green that makes me queasy.

I'd probably have to spend most of the evening eating soft pretzels out on the concourse just to settle my stomach… although that still sounds like a cool night out.

Andy Reid Wants To Do What To Our Tonsils?

Let's all be honest: aside from those of us who are Chiefs fans, we are all loving watching the Chiefs struggle so much this season.

That said, there's a small part of me that thinks they're still going to charge into the playoffs and maybe even go on yet another run.

But to do that, the Chiefs will pretty much have to win their final five games of the season, and Andy Reid has a plan.

I… I prefer my tonsils untickled, Andy.

Clearly, the Chiefs mean business, and it's wild to see the intense, tonsil-tickling side of Andy Reid. I like the Hawaiian-shirted version that's just trying to steal some nuggies.

The Time Traveler From 2005 Is My Favorite Thing Online Right Now

I have a love-hate relationship with social media.

On one hand, I think if you distill all of the bad things in society (at least the things that can't be solved by dressing nicer on planes), social media is a factor, if not the outright cause.

But, on the other hand, social media allows me to stumble across stuff like this.

Recently, I was thumbing through Instagram when I came across @thacrowdpleaser, and he's got a series of videos where he plays a time traveler from 2005 with a high-pitched voice visiting modern sports venues.

All the videos follow a similar format, but I laugh out loud every single time.

Maybe I'm late to the party, but this is my favorite thing on the Internet right now.

I mean, the clothes, the MapQuest directions, the Nextel Chirp; it's all gold, Jerry.

…

That's it for this edition of Nightcaps.

Thanks for dropping by, and be sure to come back for another round tomorrow!