Australian Officials Beg Swimmers to Opt For Pools Over Beaches After Shark Frenzy

It's easy to forget while we're dealing with the cold and Snowmageddon, that in the Southern Hemisphere, it's the middle of summer and people are hanging out on the beach.

However, officials in the state of New South Wales, Australia, are telling people to steer clear of beaches after four shark attacks in just three days.

Instead, they're telling them to do what I've been telling people to do for years, and that's skip the beach and go to a pool.

According to CBS News, a man and a boy sustained serious leg injuries after getting bitten by a shark in Sydney, while another boy had a shark bite his surfboard (I hope it wasn't a really nice surfboard).

Then, a few hundred miles north at Point Plomer, another man had a shark take a chunk out of his surfboard.

This led to one official telling people to steer clear of the beach entirely.

"If anyone's thinking of heading into the surf this morning anywhere along the northern beaches, think again. We have such poor water quality that's really conducive to some bull shark activity," Steve Pearce, chief executive of Surf Life Saving NSW, said.

"If you're thinking about going for a swim, just go to a local pool because at this stage, we're advising that beaches are unsafe."

As Australian officials have hinted amid a rash of attacks, pools have significantly fewer sharks than the ocean does. (Getty Images)

I've been saying this for years.

Do you know what doesn't have bull sharks? Pools.

Do you know what doesn't have great white sharks? Pools.

Do you know what doesn't have seaweed that touches your leg and makes you think it's a shark? Pools.

No riptides, no jellyfish, no lugging all kinds of gear over sand dunes, no flinging sand onto your towel, no saltwater accidentally going down your gullet while trying to impress your friends by catching a massive wave while body surfing.

Honestly, the advent of the first wave pool should've put beaches out of business. All they had to say was, "You can boogie board here, and you don't have to worry about a shark gnawing off your foot."

All the beaches should've been ghost towns the next day.

A wave pool's biggest danger is getting crashed into by a fat, t-shirt-wearing kid in an inner tube.

I mean, nothing is ever 100% safe…

I guess some people still prefer beaches over pools (which is absurd), but it's probably best to suck it up and stick to pools for a couple of days in that part of the world.