Austin 7-Eleven Allegedly Blasting Opera To Keep Away Homeless

A 7-Eleven in Austin, Texas is reportedly using opera music to keep homeless people from camping out in front of the store.

TV station KXAN reported on the store which residents in the city's Riverside neighborhood say is using weaponized arias to keep its sidewalks from being used as pillows.

The station even interviewed one homeless man about the tunes terminating from the convenience store.

I'm sorry, they interviewed a "man experiencing homelessness" as the station said. It's tough to stay abreast of the constantly changing semantics.

“I think it’s to keep us homeless (people) off of their property," man experiencing homelessness, Kevin Morgan said. "No one wants to listen to classical music. So they run us off by the classical music, so we don’t hang out in the parking lot.”

Residents have noticed that the music currently plays almost around the clock.

“I was just astounded by how loud it was. Annoying, this early in the morning,” local Jessica Cohen said. “Not that I don’t love classical music, but this is just rude.”

Quick aside: Isn't it hilarious how she said in the disclaimer, "Not that I don't love classical?" Everyone likes to pretend they enjoy classical, even though most of us don't. How come when the year-end Spotify recaps come out I see lots of Lizzo and not a ton of Franz Liszt?

For some reason, people think if you tell people you listen to classical music they'll think you're smart. That wasn't the case back when classical music was new, it was just music. If Beethoven were given a chance to listen to Megadeth instead of plinking on his piano, he'd do it.

Regardless, his whole situation isn't a ringing endorsement of opera music. Although you'd think that if enough homeless people came by the store at least one would have studied opera in school and the whole plan would unravel.

Come to think of it, homeless people should play some 3D chess with the 7-Eleven. They should show up with opera glasses and those t-shirts that look like tuxedos. Then, if they can sit there for an hour or two of Pagliacci blasting out of the 7-Eleven, the store will have no choice but to adjust their tactics.

They'd stop playing opera and cue up Queen's A Night At The Opera instead, which I'm sure the homeless would people would dig.

Everyone enjoys Queen at least to some degree.

The 7-Eleven alleged to have been playing the music did not respond to KXAN's request for comment. However, locals told the station that they've noticed fewer homeless people outside the store since they started playing the music.

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.