America's Decline Can Be Directly Traced To The Death Of The 'Breastaurant'

I went to Twin Peaks for lunch today.

Surprisingly, it was my wife's idea, but I wasn't about to turn it down.

As we walked in, I was shocked to see the place was nearly empty, with only a handful of booths occupied as the bar top sat half empty.

It boggled my mind. It was a Saturday full of sports like college basketball and the Olympics, but the fans were nowhere to be found.

And, unlike most chain restaurants these days, the quality hasn't dipped one bit.

Both mine and my wife's food tasted delicious, and the waitresses were still as "talented" as ever, so what gives?

It's no secret "breastaurants" like Twin Peaks and Hooters are on the decline, with both declaring bankruptcy in the past few years.

You can read articles about earnings reports and Chapter 11 all you want, but seeing the decline in real time with your own eyes is a different can of worms altogether.

I will take things a step further: I think the death of the breastaurant is directly correlated with the decline of America.

Think back to when places like Hooters were at their peak. What decade do you think of?

If you said the '90s, you're spot on.

Who else was on top during the last decade of the millennium? America.

It feels like the '90s were the last time America was at the top of its game.

Beer commercials were clever and patriotic. You could still laugh at stuff without getting "canceled." And going to restaurants to eat wings, drink some brews, and be served by hot waitresses was not only commonplace, but encouraged.

Nowadays, everything is woke and sucks.

And the worst part? Men aren't even interested in places like this anymore.

As my fellow OutKicker, Joe Kinsey, said, dudes these days would rather "watch porn and gamble while ordering DoorDash."

There's no human connection to go with our love of sports, wings, and harmless perversion.

Masculinity is under attack and has been for quite some time, and guys are running out of options when it comes to places they can just let loose and be themselves.

America peaked in the '90s, and so did breastaurants. Coincidence?

I think not.

I will continue to patronize these places, but it's sad to see a few institutions of this great country go downhill the way they have recently.

If you can, today or tonight, make your way to your local Hooters or Twin Peaks, and help us heal this country the old-fashioned way: with beer, boobs, and wings.