Add This To The List Of Reasons To Never Go On A Cruise

When I was growing up, going on cruises was seen as a luxury trip, reserved only for the most elite members of society (i.e. middle to upper-middle class suburbanites).

We aren't talking Titanic caste system cruising here, but there was a level of splendor that went along with boarding a cruise ship for a long weekend to Cozumel.

Much like with the airline industry, though, cruising has become a thing for the common folk and, at the risk of sounding like a snobby elitist, this has really brought down the allure of these nautical adventures.

There are way too many reasons NOT to go on a cruise these days.

You could be involved in a maritime brawl. You could pick up a nasty case of Norovirus and hug your toilet for 48 hours. Or you could even fall overboard and get lost at sea.

After all, you are on a floating barge with a bunch of strangers out in the middle of the open ocean.

Anything goes.

Taking all those factors into account, there is yet another reason you shouldn't be cruising anytime soon.

Yes, it seems you can't even enjoy a relaxing plunge down the communal water slide anymore without fearing for your life.

What's next: flesh-eating bacteria in the kiddie pool?

I was already iffy on cruises, but my wife has been slowly planting the seeds of trying to take a family trip on one when the little guy gets a few years older.

I can tell you right now, if my son was on that water slide when it needed to be shut down, I would make Liam Neeson in Taken look like a rank amateur by the time I'm done with the cruise industry.

I would be writing so many strongly worded letters it would make your head spin.

I'm not alone in this sentiment either. It looks like many more people are getting wise to the sham that is the cruise ship industry.

With social media as prevalent as it is these days, you are never far from a video exposing the seedy underbelly of cruise ships.

If you watch a video like this or videos of mass brawls on the high seas, and you STILL board a cruise ship for a fun Caribbean excursion, you need to have your head examined.

As for me? I'm more than okay with hanging out on land, far away from any water slides, fisticuffs, or Norovirus.

The rest of you can have fun on your little ten-year sorority reunion cruise to Nassau.

I'll meet you there on a 45-minute plane ride from Fort Lauderdale and have a better time anyway.