Bubba Wallace Is Mentally Weak, NASCAR Driver Nearly Fried, ‘Dumb’ Wreck Leads To Middle Fingers And Black Eyes, Angry Ryan Blaney Returns

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Welcome to a Labor Day edition of MMPS — where all is right with the world. Kyle Larson is back on top of NASCAR, Bubba Wallace is mentally weak and Ryan Blaney is angry as all get-out.

After months of Chris Buescher weirdly winning every other week and Chase Elliott being a bum, order is somewhat restored in the NASCAR world. And right in time for the playoffs, too!

OK, fine. I’m being a bit dramatic. Bubba Wallace actually ran a good race last night, but he was called out pretty viciously this past week. Leave it to Kyle Petty to stir the pot for us on an otherwise quiet holiday Monday.

And yes, the Buescher shot was a little weak, too. Chris finished third Sunday at Darlington. I don’t know how it happened, but he’s all of a sudden an elite NASCAR driver. What the hell?

But the Blaney stuff was legit! He’s got such an underrated temper, and it was back in action last night. Was Hooters Gianna in action, too? Scroll to find out!

What else? Ryan Preece emerged from the hospital after doing a couple Daytona flips looking like an absolute badass. Obviously we’ll speak with him and try not to stare.

Oh yeah! Daniel Suarez and Alex Bowman wrecked and then Bowman accused Danny’s crew chief of giving him the finger on the way to the airport.

As Han Solo once said in the only good Star Wars sequel — it’s true, all of it.

OK, it’s a holiday Monday and we’ve all got plenty of things to do besides stare at a screen, so let’s get this race started.

Four tires, some fuel and some raw steak for Ryan Preece’s face … Monday Morning Pit-Stop — the ‘Black Eyes & Bruised Egos’ edition — is LIVE!

We have more NASCAR finger-flipping

We could’ve started in a lot of different places today, but this little gem that came out of the Alex Bowman-Daniel Suarez wreck last night made me laugh.

And we don’t do serious here, as you know. If it makes me laugh or clean my glasses, it gets in. Everything else can go straight to the AP!

First, the wreck — which was 100% Bowman’s fault and lowkey hilarious. The first block is fine. The second one is so aggressive.

I mean, come on, Alex! What are we doing here? You just literally took up the entire track to block one driver like it was the last lap at Daytona or Talladega. Why? What’s the point? Is the eighth position that critical?

Anyway, Suarez called Bowman dumb after the race, which was pretty disappointing. Alex, meanwhile, fired back by calling him an idiot AND accusing his crew chief of flipping him off.

What a twist!

Kyle Petty calls Bubba Wallace a baby

Gonna need to know more on this ASAP. Bowman digs in and says he’s been flipped off on the way to the airport, while Travis Mack seems extremely confused by the accusation.

If only we had security cam footage …

Oh wait!

I know it’s only Labor Day, but man I can’t wait for Christmas Vacation SZN. Appointment viewing in the Dean house every year.

OK, let’s now check in with Kyle Petty and Bubba Wallace!

Petty was asked this week about Bubba declining just about every single interview last week because apparently he was too anxious for the Daytona race, and — unlike most media not named OutKick — he called out the BS immediately.

“If mentally he is that fragile, then maybe this is not the game for him.”

Ryan Preece looks well after NASCAR wreck

Petty is 100% right, by the way. And it ain’t a made-up narrative, either. There were whispers in the Daytona media center last Friday that Bubba, who was supposed to come in and talk, was gonna be a no-show.

And he was.

Look, there’s some weird trend going on right now in professional sports with mental health. It’s the buzz word of 2023. I’ve never seen anything like it, but it’s just sort of come out of nowhere and now it’s the magic word to use to get out of anything.

Kyle Petty is obviously an old school NASCAR driver. Bubba Wallace is obviously the new school driver. They go together about as well as oil and water.

I’m in Kyle’s camp through and through, and I’m sure everyone reading this is, too. Someone declining interviews because they’re nervous about a race is silly. If that’s what actually happened, then Bubba needs to be better than that.

And keeping Michael Jordan AWAY from him during the week because he makes him nervous? Huh? What? What are we doing here?

“He was 32 points up. Come and get it from me,” Petty continued. “Bubba should have had the attitude going in there, a strong driver has the attitude, β€˜Come and take it, dude. You’re gonna have to take it from me.'”

Again, spot-on. You think MJ was nervous before a big NBA finals game? Or when he had to sweat out the last leg of huge parlay? Hell no. Eye of the tiger, Bubba. Give the world the finger and put the damn race car in Victory Lane, my man!

Whew. What a rant! I feel like Ryan Preece after that one.

Chris Buescher on fire, Ryan Blaney is angry and Ryan Newman is back!

Jarring stuff. My God. Just bursting blood vessels for days on Ryan Preece here. Wild. Who knew that’s how you’d look after flipping 10 times at 180 MPH!

Welcome back, Ryan! And welcome back, angry Rhino (Blaney)!

Love Ryan Blaney. The angrier the better. Glad to see him back and OK after last week’s wreck. No Hooters Gianna this week, sadly. She took the holiday weekend off, which I guess I respect.

We do have another WAG to take her place, though! But first …

You know, you sometimes take for granted exactly what these guys do down on pit road. I mean, our man here takes a fireball to the chin but still gets the damn job done because it’s the playoffs and every second matters.

Warrior. Get that lug tightened the hell up and THEN worry about your third-degree burns. That’s NASCAR 101.

Finally, welcome back, Ryan Newman! Rocket Man, who’s running a part-time schedule this season, pretty much ruined Kevin Harvick’s final chance to win at Darlington with a little help from brake-checking Tyler Reddick:

McCall Gaulding takes NASCAR To Kansas

For those who couldn’t piece it together in real time …

Kevin Harvick, running second, went to pit. Tyler Reddeck saw him duck down to pit road from the lead and tried to slam the brakes and do the same, except he was already past the line and had no chance to make it.

Ryan Newman, a lapped car, was coming like a bat out of hell and had to slam the brakes to avoid murdering Reddick’s ass — which in turn made him spin out and bring out the caution, which screwed over Harvick.

I just can’t believe we’re still talking about Ryan Newman and Kevin Harvick in 2023. They’re a combined 90-years-old.

What a time to be alive.

And on that note, let’s let McCall Gaulding take us straight into Kansas.

Written by Zach Dean

Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.

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