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Huge f-you money can buy you plenty of things, but bazillionaire Jeff Bezos nearly found out that all the money in the world is useless against the powers of Leonardo DiCaprio. Bad Boy Bezos took his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, out to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art & Film Gala where the couple ran into DiCaprio and that’s when the trouble started for the bazillionaire.
Bad Boy Jeff, who’s worth somewhere around $177 BILLION and rising thanks to Amazon’s army of delivery trucks pumping out packages seven days a week, had to watch on in horror as Lauren looked into Leo’s eyes and smiled at his every word.
Jeff, who might’ve been busy working on his soft-serve ice cream machines over the weekend, finally caught wind of the Internet meme that had been circulating for the last couple of days and fired off a tweet at the A-list heartthrob.
“Leo, come over here, I want to show you something,” Bad Boy, 57, tweeted to Mr. Steal Yo Girl.
This just goes to show you guys that a guy worth $177 BILLION vs. a guy worth $260 million or so isn’t a fair fight when you take the charisma of DiCaprio and put it up against the egghead nerd who’s trying to make up for lost time in his life after finding himself in a miserable marriage way back in 1993.
Now the bad boy’s unleashed, but he’s finding that there are dudes out there on the single-life streets who have the money, hair, personality, looks and connections (five-toolers) to cancel out billionaires.
Look at Lauren’s eyes. She clearly doesn’t care about some unlimited spending limit with her Amazon account. She doesn’t care about some white phallic-looking spacecraft that Jeff owns.
She was ready to go run off to a sinking ship with Jack Dawson and Bad Boy Jeff knows it.
Hey, it might be time for Jeff to trade her in on a new model. Dooooo it, Bad Boy!