Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema Bashes Democrats; Jell-O Unfortunately Catches Stray

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Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema — who amscrayed from the Democratic Party late last year — slammed her former party and their habit of crushing Jell-O at caucus luncheons.

Sinema is now an independent and told a group of Republican lobbyists that she would no longer be caucusing with her Democratic colleagues.

“I’m not caucusing with the Democrats, I’m formally aligned with the Democrats for committee purposes,” Sinema said, according to Politico. “But apart from that I am not a part of the caucus.”

This is shocking because those luncheons sound like an absolute blast.

“Those lunches were ridiculous,” she said.

“Old dudes are eating Jell-O, everyone is talking about how great they are,” Sinema recounted to gales of laughter. “I don’t really need to be there for that. That’s an hour and a half twice a week that I can get back.”

I’m torn on this Jell-O line. Part of me is glad to hear the government isn’t wasting our tax dollars on good deserts. If these old geezers were throwing back cheesecake or something a bit more expensive like that, then I’d have a problem with it. At least, a box of Jell-O is like $1.

However, is someone who thinks a heaping dish of Jell-O is a good way to cap off a meal, the type of person you want making policy decisions? If they can’t get dessert right, how are we supposed to expect them to make foreign policy decisions? We expect them to be responsible without tax dollars when they’re forgoing various pies in favor of Jell-O.

The Democratic Party: The Party Of Jell-O Eaters

It’s also hilarious that this is the opposite image the Democratic Party tries to project. They’re hip, they’re young, they’re progressive.

No. Most of them have had dentures for decades or can tell you what college class they were sitting in when Kennedy was assassinated. Hence the Jell-O.

Unless Jell-O is delivered in shot form, it’s an old people desert.

But believe it or not, it gets worse. Sinema alleged that southern democrats were committing a startling crime against the culinary arts.

“The Northerners and the Westerners put Cool Whip on their Jell-O and the Southerners put cottage cheese,” Sinema said.

Mmm; who doesn’t love a good helping of Jell-O and cottage cheese? I bet they wash it down with a nice tall glass of Metamucil. That’s good eatin’.

If anyone who does that win their reelection bid, I no longer believe in democracy.

…Okay, I’ll still believe in it, but it’s still pretty bad.

“I spend my days doing productive work, which is why I’ve been able to lead every bipartisan vote that’s happened the last two years,” Sinema said. That’s what has made her one of the most reviled figures among progressives.

It’s wild that that’s a blemish on one’s record.

I thought for sure the biggest strike against Sinema would have been that she may have dated sad man with no friends Keith Olbermann.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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