Hurricanes Respect Trump’s Border More Than Human Traffickers Do
There have been zero hurricanes to make landfall in the United States this year, the first hurricane season in a decade without one.
For the first time in a decade — and, not coincidentally, in Donald Trump’s triumphant return to the Oval Office — the United States has wrapped up a hurricane season with zero making landfall. Zero. Zilch. A pristine, category-free coastline.
And honestly, why would they? Trump campaigned on closing the border, and he didn’t just close it to illegal crossings — he closed it to everything. Hurricanes included. The man said, "Nobody gets in," and the Atlantic obeyed.
It’s a miraculous turnaround when you look at the stats:
- Joe Biden’s four years: 21 hurricanes making landfall.
- Trump’s first term: 11.
- Trump’s first year back: zero.
Even Mother Nature seems to prefer strong borders.
Hurricanes have respected the borders of the United States under President Trump. (Image courtesy of usgs.gov)
And this is what makes the Democratic climate panic so deliciously funny. Under Biden, hurricanes behaved like VIP guests, hitting the U.S. more often than Gavin Newsom hits hair gel. Yet Joe still lectured the nation about climate change deniers being "brain-dead," even as storms RSVP’d "yes" to every coastline party during his term.
Under Trump? Suddenly the hurricanes are staying the hell offshore. Almost like storms have political preferences — or maybe they saw our Secretary of War turning Venezuelan drug boats into confetti and decided they didn’t want that smoke either.
Trump Nukes Climate Policy — And Mother Nature Shrugs
Trump hasn’t exactly been subtle about his views on the climate industrial complex. One of the first things he did upon returning to office was issue an executive order to dismantle basically every federal attempt to address climate change.
The "Promoting Energy Independence and Economic Growth" order might as well have been titled: "We’re Done With This Climate Nonsense."
EPA climate rules? Gone.
Methane regulations? Gone.
Clean Power Plan? Nuked from orbit.
Social cost of carbon? Deleted like a Hillary email.
Coal leasing moratorium? Lifted with a Trump Dance and a victory fist pump.
If a federal agency had ever used the words "greenhouse gas," Trump ordered them to go stand in the corner and think about what they’d done.
Trump Trolls The World — And The Weather Listens
And then came his United Nations speech in September — a masterclass in trolling the world’s most humorless people. Trump told global leaders climate change was a "con job," wind and solar were a "scam," environmentalists want to "kill all the cows," and that he himself has "been right about everything."
The Royal Society, Europe, and half the global press lost their minds — which, let’s be honest, is Trump’s love language.
But here’s the kicker: While Trump was calling climate change a hoax, the U.S. was being hit by… zero hurricanes.
Meanwhile, 2025 still produced three Cat 5 monsters — including Hurricane Melissa, one of the strongest landfalls ever in Jamaica. These storms were absolute beasts. But when they drifted anywhere near the U.S.? Hard pass. They turned north as if they saw a wall of border patrol agents lining the shore on jet skis.
Maybe it’s the steering currents. Maybe it’s the atmospheric troughs. Or maybe, just maybe…
Democrats attract hurricanes, while Trump repels them.
In Joe Biden's four years as President, 21 hurricanes made landfall in the United States. (Photo by Brendan SMIALOWSKI / AFP)
Coincidence, Or Do Hurricanes Vote Red, Too?
Biden gave us 21 landfalling storms and a sermon about climate doom. Trump gave us an executive order torching half the regulatory state, a U.N. speech that made Greta Thunberg spontaneously combust, and a hurricane season where the storms respected the border more than human traffickers do.
Coincidence? Correlation? Or proof that hurricanes, like voters, respect strong leadership?
Either way, the message from 2025 was clear:
If you want fewer storms hitting America, put a Republican in the White House.
If you want hurricanes flooding your cities, vote Blue.
Turns out Trump didn’t just close the southern border.
He closed the Atlantic one, too.