Joe Kinsey
Videos by OutKick
College Football is back…Screencaps Jr. birthday weekend and we’re going to Respect Summer by watching football and sucking down fresh air
Remember, Week 0 ain’t much, but it’s just enough to whet the appetite and ease you into the next six months of football. It’s also a good chance to get your TVs dialed in, your gambling apps dialed in and your basement fridge loaded up.
It’s literally preseason for football fans.
Week 0 is like Christmas in July for suburban moms who want to get the juices flowing for the next six months of their lives.
Look at this TV schedule. It’s one for the ages.
Never thought I’d be attending a Week 0 patio viewing party for USC-San Jose State, but Ballystar99 is in the neighborhood and he’s a USC fan by birth, so I’ll be the nice guy and go over to watch half of that game since they’re joining the Big Ten and you need to know your enemies as the conference expands.
Imagine for a second being a USC fan living in Ohio. You think life is over and you’ll forever be staying up until 1 a.m. watching your team play when all your buddies are sleeping. Now this guy is going to get USC playing 3:30 games in Michigan and Ohio on a regular basis. He hit the jackpot with this change.
I want to keep the college football vibe going, so let’s dive into the emails from guys who wanted to argue with Sara Blake Cheek, who gave her SEC analysis earlier this week.
• Eddie from Acworth has words with Sara:
I had to respond to Sara’s absurd SEC takes:
UGA has a good yet unproven qb and no it is not Brock Bowers-but good Lord Carson Beck has weapons all around him and the best offensive line in the country. All he has to do is not suck and we will average 40+ points a game again. Sorry honey-you are probably looking at a 3 peat.
“If Hendon Hooker stays healthy we could go 11-1 and steal one from Bama or Georgia.”
Um-Hendon was healthy against UGA and still got his ass handed to him-and until Tennessee learns how to play defense they are not winning squat. The “much improved defense” is a joke-Heupel has proven he does not care about defense. 10 games is a cute prediction. Sorry again, honey. The East and the SEC runs thru Athens, Ga. Best defense in the country. Again.
If Heupel is so sexy with all this “winning” what is Kirby Smart?? He has lost 1 game in 2 years.
She is right on Vandy-but anyone can predict that. Ain’t exactly bold.
What happened to the natural beauties?
That’s not my question. It was raised by a Screencaps reader, so I challenged readers to name the modern natural beauties.
• Warren M. writes:
Being that I am fairly active in the local running and triathlon community, I have some friends who are personal trainers.
One of them works part-time at a gym in addition to one on one sessions, and she told my wife and I recently that women these days do not want to do any cardio at all, and only want to do workouts to make their butts bigger.
Lainey Wilson comes to mind as a trendsetter (country singer).
• Alex R. writes:
Joe it is very simple….this is the standard…
Tiffany Thiessen
Kinsey:
Not to send shockwaves through your brain this morning as you prepare to gamble on football, but Kelly Kapowski turns 50 in January. Time does fly!
• Chris B. wrote in calling Farah Fawcett a natural beauty, but I had to remind him she’s been dead for over a decade.
His response:
She is definitely dead. Well, Livvy and most of the other pretty college athlete chicks that y’all have been posting are (I think) natural. Hard to tell with the IG models for sure. You probably don’t have to jump this far back in time, but some names that come to mind… Jennifer Aniston for sure.
Sarah Michelle Gellar. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Cindy Crawford. Gisele. Shania. Anna Kournikova. Alicia Silverstone. Michelle Pfeiffer. Reese Witherspoon. Margot Robbie. ScoJo.
Kinsey:
What a pivot from Anna Kournikova. She has disappeared from social media after having kids. While many A-listers lean into the kids and make money off promoting products they’re using to raise the kids, Kournikova went in the opposite direction. She’s gone.
I think we can all agree that Reese Witherspoon is timeless.
And finally, Cindy Crawford wrapped up her summer at the lake this week. She turns 58 in February.
Disgusting Behavior
The Ts are on the move
• Mike T. in Idaho checks in from Washington state along North Cascades Highway:
We drove over the North Cascade Highway today in Washington state.
Active fire area so lots of smoke!
Beautiful drive!
Taking a leak in Oregon…commandos
• Jake in Oregon writes:
Hey Joe: gotta weigh in on the underwear discussion. Haven’t heard from the commando contingent. The only way to go, no flap worries in our crowd. And if you can’t stumble to you own bathroom in the dark you should turn in your man card.
Otherwise here in Oregon, we have instituted self-serve gas with little damage except for a few Karens who get in the self-service line by mistake and freak out because they don’t have a clue. But usually, some dude steps up and helps them out (probably a TNML member).
Keep doing what you do.
Don’t blink, toilets and taking kids off to college
• Anonymous writes:
As far as don’t blink, it is more real than can be imagined. This past Friday, we took our youngest to college. It wemt by way to quickly. I already miss the soccer practices and games.
I knew nothing(!) about soccer, but became a total soccer dad/coach.
And I really miss all the theatre shows where she starred in while i built the sets and her mom did all the amazing mom stuff backstage. And I even miss/kinda all the friday nights in the concession stand grilling several hundred burgers, dogs and sausages just to support her on danceline.
Joe, Guys, take them to games, it goes by way too fast.
Peeing at night: today, someone finally got it right. Nightlights. they are designed with minimal light that won’t wake you uo. Ranked:
1 night lights
2 toilet lights – eww going to be gross quick
3 turn on the lights, a;ya wide awake
4 goes in the dark, acknowledges the dribble and does it anyway (savage)
5 Any guy, I won’t mention names, who freakin sits down to pee without a medical condition or similar should have his man card removed immiedately,
Read that you were going to be replacing toilets. It is one of the easier diy project if you are so inclined, but either way, make sure you use a fluid master gaskitk vs a was seal. They are only a few dollars more and are well worth it. They can be reseated multiple times and there is no mess!
How to deal with yellow jackets in Georgia
• Rob N. in Blue Ridge, Georgia writes:
Danny K. wrote in about yellow jackets being impossible to control in GA with the exception of the tried and true pour gasoline down the hole in the evening and cover it. No thanks, I don’t like to get within “pouring” distance of the evil little bastards.
There is a better, easier, and quicker method. Use a pest control liquid product with the active ingredient of fipronil. It is available from a number of “do it yourself” pest control websites. It is maybe 70 bucks for a 20 OZ bottle, but it is diluted with water and a little goes a LONG way.
Mix in a one-gallon pump sprayer, set it to a stream, and you can soak the yellow jacket hole from a good distance. Slow acting so will take from 12-24 hours to end their existence.
As an aside, using it to coat 18 inches up and 18 inches out all the way around your house will eliminate all ants. In addition, I spray the whole exterior of the house, the eaves, under the decks, etc. every spring and get no wasp nests, no ants, no mud dauber, no spiders, etc. for the whole summer.
Kills everything so keep it off flowers, blooms, etc. so honeybees aren’t affected.
Kinsey:
Here in Ohio a few years ago, I had a ground yellow jacket nest that I got into in the garden — I was lit up at least 6-7 times by the bastards — that I took out via a powder a neighbor said would work just fine if used at night.
I don’t remember what that powder was, but it was a one-and-done for the yellow jackets. One application and it was lights out.
It sounds like Rob N.’s had some real battles nothing like I’ve been through. This is a guy ready for war.
This country is out of control!
That’s it, I’m done for the weekend. The weather is garbage this morning, so I spent a little more time than normal on Screencaps. Plus, with football back, it just feels right to be on the computer.
Now it’s time to get Screencaps Jr.’s 11th birthday weekend rolling along. We sent out seven invitations for go-karting, figuring we would get four, maybe five, who could make it. Not only did all seven say ‘yes,’ we’re now up to eight.
Do I care? Absolutely not. Let’s go have fun, kids.
Take care. Have an amazing weekend. Enjoy that college football and the Little League World Series title game.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
