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The NFL Draft fascinates me. On the one hand, it is preceded with a high level of excitement and anticipation. On the other hand, despite the suspense, it is an exhibition of fundamentally boring components. We wait for a team to select a player, the player is announced, then we listen to cliched analysis about draftee, who shakes people’s hands and hugs his family. That’s it. Then we have to wait another 10 minutes for the next pick. But many still love it because it is football, and we love football. So, to most, the fact that the draft is related to football overrides what would normally be an extremely dull and monotonous spectacle. That being said, at times throughout the show, we can’t help but express our distaste for the tedium. As a result, the NFL Draft produces more complaints than any other event. It is such low hanging fruit. It can be a bit much. Here’s a guide to some of the most annoying draft complaints. Complainers beware.
“UGH PEOPLE COMPLAIN SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING DURING THE DRAFT”
(Looking in the mirror, sadly) Don’t forget that I am someone who complains that people complain a lot, yet also am a chronic complainer. Ok, now that my hypocritical self is out of the way, here are some more.
“HOW HAS [MY FAVORITE COLLEGE PLAYER] NOT BEEN DRAFTED YET?”
In my opinion, one of the many distinguishable traits between people who scout and analyze draft prospects for a living, and lay people like myself and most of you, is that the draft scouts know which awesome college players are weak pro prospects. I have no clue. I’ll watch a guy blowing up in college and think to myself “this is a clear cut first rounder in a few years” and he ends up picked in the fifth or goes undrafted. Most of the time, draft analysts end up being right when they rate certain dynamic college players as lower tier NFL prospects. Yet, when our favorite player is slipping we always cry “how can [defensive tackle from small school that I’ve never heard of] be picked instead of [great college player on my favorite team.]????” There is usually a valid reason why these guys aren’t getting picked, folks. Of course, when the player is eventually drafted, we all collectively pronounce to the world that the lucky team who picked him just got themselves “A STEAL.”
“HOW CAN YOU GIVE [MY TEAM] A C+ GRADE?”
I can definitely relate to hypersensitive fandom. I am a hypersensitive fan myself. What I don’t understand is why people get so wound up about an analyst giving their favorite team a certain low “grade” on their draft picks. What does it matter if the lead analyst from draft analyzers dot com gives the Giants a D+? It has zero effect on the future of your team. None. Also, we will soon find out whether the grade was good or bad. Can’t we wait and see? Also, quit with the “BIAS!” stuff. For the most part, I don’t buy bias accusations. These draft experts so badly want to be right. It’s their livelihood. You think a draft scout is going to give the Packers an F on his draft grade article because he grew up a Bears fan, and risk everyone coming after him when some annoying internet troll brings up their unprophetic analysis a few years later (looks around)? It just doesn’t make sense.
“STOP TIPPING THE PICKS!”
You know many people on Twitter are going to tip the picks. Don’t try and stop it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and the people who complain about the tip-picking become more annoying than the tip-pickers themselves. Nobody is ever going to get these people to stop. Will we ever be able to stop the first person on the road who gawks at an accident causing everyone to slow down until the accident is cleaned up? No chance. Just accept the fact that this is going to happen. Forever. Only way to truly avoid it is to watch the draft without Twitter as the NFL Network and ESPN kindly agreed not to show the player in the green room answering the call telling him he was drafted. Personally, I think it would be best if it was like the NCAA Tournament selection show where the players can’t be called and can only find out that they are drafted when their name is announced. Let’s make this happen.
“DRAFT GRADES ARE SO STUPID”
Are draft grades meaningless in the grand scheme of things? Yes. Are they stupid? No. Why? Because most people like to see them, and it is content that many read. People say they are annoying, but you don’t even have to read them if you don’t want. Just ignore the draft grades if you don’t care!
“THE DRAFT IS THE WORST”
We get it, you don’t like the draft. Stop bothering others who do. You are so like the. NBA fan who hates college basketball and complains during the NCAA tournament. A person who constantly pontificates during an entire event about how said event stinks when the he or she doesn’t have to watch the event is the worst person. They stink. Besides, so many people like the draft. If they didn’t, it wouldn’t be the spectacle it is today. It would be an under-the-radar production, like the Major League Baseball draft. You are in the minority “draft is the worst thing ever” dude.
“STOP BOOING ROGER GOODELL. IT’S ANNOYING.”
Goodell gets booed every time he comes up to the podium. It’s part of the draft. It’s part of the spirit of the NFL. Embrace it. Also, half the people who complain about this also hate Goodell. You’d boo too. You would.
“GREAT PICK!” AFTER EVERY PICK
Alright, this isn’t a complaint (it’s actually me complaining). But still, come on. Who likes this guy? You don’t know every player, Bro. And how many picks turn out being great? Not even close to 50%. The Offensive Lineman for Akron picked with the 11th pick and Jimmy Jones, an accountant from Georgia tweeting out “great pick” like he’s ever watched the lineman play a single down.
Sometimes people are so freaking nitpicky they’ll complain about anything related to the draft. Some examples:
The foregoing is a list of only some of the annoying complaints made during the draft. I’m sure there are thousands of others. The moral of the story is, don’t complain. Easy for me to say.
(Top Photo: Adam Hunger- USA Today Sports/Reuters)
Fred Segal is an attorney from West Palm Beach, FL. He operates the popular Freezing Cold Takes twitter account (@OldTakesExposed) which highlights, among other things, hilarious unprophetic and inaccurate takes and predictions.