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WATCH: Woman Crawls Through Jack In The Box Drive Thru Seeking Ranch Dressing

A Jack in the Box fast food restaurant recently turned into quite the show, thanks to a woman who was unable to chow down without the assistance of some ranch dipping sauce.

Armed with bare feet and bad intentions, this unnamed woman climbed through a Jack in the Box drive thru to demand some ranch for her order. She then cussed out employees and twerked through a window before returning to her car and her meal.

Though the location of the video hasn’t yet been made public, a reasonable person might guess that the barefooted, high-decibel ranch shakedown took place in either Florida or hell.

Watch the barefoot contessa in action below:

I’m not sure where her actions rank on the methamphetamine scale of unorthodox behavior, but I’d like to think she’s neck and neck with some of the all-time toothless greats.

As the video shows, the ranch head appears in the fast food chain’s employees only area dressed in an outfit that screams, “I live in a duplex. I’m two months behind on rent. I pawned a fish tank for $12 dollars to buy some weed, and I’m not about to leave this couch until Judge Judy renders a verdict on this Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket nonsense.”

The disgruntled customer wasted little time, clapping at employees over and over with the same authority Peyton Manning used to signal for a snap from center. But rather than shout “Omaha! Omaha!” the woman continuously barks, “Where my ranch at?”

After a flurry of words, all of which are unintelligible except for “bitch,” the angry woman addresses one of the workers by repeatedly screaming, “Get it!” Seconds later, another Jack in the Box employee approaches the woman with what appears to be the ranch she has so desperately sought. At that point, the shoeless video star snags the ranch and walks away, growling, “That’s what I thought.”

It’s probably safe to assume that Ms. Ruthie Ranch probably dabbles in employment that requires other garmentless body parts besides feet.

In true stripper fashion, the trespasser, dipping sauce in hand, then climbs back out of the drive thru window, but pauses on the window sill to bid everyone a fond farewell with a three-second twerk.

A saucy goodbye to say the least.

 

 

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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  1. Meanwhile, our leaders are falling all over themselves to address what they believe is the most pressing problem for the United States: Ukraine’s border security, 5000 miles away from the United States.

    Stay tuned for more updates from Upside Down World 2022.

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