UMass Football Pee Color Chart Includes Typo (Hopefully) That Requires Players To Drink Absurd Amount Of Water

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UMass football has been one of the worst programs in the country over the last, well, pretty much always. The Minutemen have not eclipsed the five-win mark in their history on the FBS level.

The University of Massachussetts Amherst had a strong run of success on the FCS level in the late 1990s and early 2000s but it came crashing down when the school returned to the FBS in 2012. It has won just 21 games in 11 years, with just three wins since 2018.


Don Brown, who led the Minutemen to two-straight NCAA D-I AA playoff appearances and a national title bid in 2006 and 2007, returned as head coach last season after stints as the defensive coordinator at Maryland, UConn, Boston College, Michigan and Arizona. He won just one game in his first year back.

Head coach Don Brown of the Massachusetts Minutemen reacts against the Temple Owls in the second half at Lincoln Financial Field on September 24, 2022 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
(Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

Now, as the rebuild continues, UMass is focused on hydration. However, the program’s Hydration Chart includes a typo that makes things rather challenging. At least, it better be a typo.

What is a Hydration Chart?

Five years ago, it was revealed that then-University of Texas head coach had a ‘Hydration Chart’ posted in every team bathroom. The chart evaluated the color of the Longhorns’ pee and gave them a corresponding label.

Herman was ultimately fired at Texas and it is unclear whether the Hydration Chart is still around under Steve Sarkisian. Whether it does or does not, the pee chart’s legacy lives on around the country in 2023.

It was revealed last summer that University of Texas at San Antonio also has a pee chart of its own. Where the Longhorns had just four categories, the Roadrunners have seven.

Moving further east, South Carolina is also keeping tabs on urine.

As is Coastal Carolina, whose Pee Chart includes a unique color in honor of quarterback Grayson McCall’s famous announcement that he pisses teal.

UMass’ Hydration Chart is confusing.

The Minutemen’s pee chart is not as simple as the others. There are a lot more details.

If a player’s urine is between fair and severely dehydrated, he must speak with Jenn, Lizzie or Donald– presumably, the athletic trainers or nutrition staff. If he starts becoming dehydrated, he must start drinking one part water and one part Gatorade.

Athletes must avoid coffee, tea, soda and fruit juices. They must eat fruits and vegetables with high water content like watermelon, cauliflower, or cucumbers.

Players should not stop drinking water because they are no longer thirsty.

Here is where the potential typo comes into question.

Again, the assumption is that it is a typo. If not, UMass is forcing its college football players to drink an insane amount of water.

It reads: “Drink 1.5L of water for each pound you weigh.”

UMass meant to say something else. Hopefully.

Otherwise, 330-pound offensive linemen Josh Atwood, Ethan Mottinger and Tyler Leinberger are drinking an insane amount of water. 1.5L X 330 pounds = 495 liters of water per day, each, which is obviously not possible.

As for the amount of water that the Minutemen are actually supposed to be drinking, that’s unclear. If it was supposed to say “mL,” that would be just 450 milliliters, or 0.45 liters per day. That isn’t enough.

Perhaps the “L” was supposed to be “oz.” Even then, though, it would be asking the 330-pound offensive lineman to drink 495oz per day, which comes out to about 3.87 gallons per day.

Of all of the options, “oz” makes the most sense, but nearly four gallons of water per day seems like a lot of water. Even at 6-foot-5, 330 pounds.

The mystery of UMass’ Hydration Chart continues…!

Written by Grayson Weir

Grayson doesn't drink coffee. He wakes up Jacked.

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