University of Georgia students are being asked to mask up in more ways than one when they return to campus and start having sex like rabbits. The University Health Center at UGA is out with ‘COVID-19 Considerations’ and wearing a mask while releasing the endorphins is on the list. That’s right, UGA wants your sons and daughters masked up while doing it. Safe sex has a new added layer of protection in 2020.
If you thought it was awkward asking your buddy for a rubber at the bar, imagine asking for a rubber and to borrow his mask because you lost yours at Seth’s kegger. The last thing you want is trouble with Kelsey who demands you’re fully masked up before endorphins start flying. UGA isn’t suggesting it, but I am: neck gaiters at the bar. Then when your ex Brittany walks in all you have to do is pull that thing up to your eyes and hide from her annoying ass.
UGA is also highly suggesting that masturbation is the key to combating the ‘rona on campus. “Practice solo sex,” UGA says. Wash your hands with warm water for 20 seconds after that sexual activity.
As we saw with the New York City health department guidance back in June, UGA is also suggesting students get creative with sex positions to reduce getting your masked faces close together. And be careful with the anal.
Look, if you want college football, you need to take one for the team and reduce the spread of ‘rona. Rubbers and masks. Masks and rubbers. Suit up like the UGA season depends on it. One unprotected bang sesh after a night of crushing Nattys could cost Kirby a full season and result in Kelsey getting knocked up. Next thing you know you’re selling used cars and changing diapers during the 2021 season. Think long and hard before you go out there playing with fire this fall.