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(High school) Football IS BACK!

A buddy of mine here in Perrysburg texted me Friday afternoon saying how he wasn’t going to make it to last night’s football game. One of the youngest kids wasn’t feeling it and the last thing he wanted to deal with was spending the money and then leaving before halftime.

“Come over, we’ll sit on the patio. Skip it,” he texted. “There are plenty more.”

Nonsense.

I have a 5th grader. He’s officially entered the stage of life where this is his chance to have a social life. Bally’s declaration that “there are more games” message got me thinking about the idea that there are “plenty” more to choose from.

After last night’s 46-8 destruction of St. Francis — the new quarterback went 12 of 14 for 155 yards and four touchdowns while adding 60 yards rushing and a touchdown (BTW, the junior QB complimented the amazing weather in the local newspaper after the win…this kid has a bright future) — Screencaps Jr. has 39 more regular season home games to attend as a student in this school system.

Based on the calculations inside my brain, that’s not actually that many more chances to run with your boys, chase footballs being thrown around by the 8th graders and be a kid in general.

On the way home, I heard something out of Screencaps Jr’s friend that shocked me — his oldest brother and his friends don’t really attend the football games. They stay home and game. We’re not talking about high-level nerds who have fallen through the cracks. We’re talking kids that are on athletic teams. They just skip the games.

What is that about? Is this something that’s been going on for years and I just didn’t know about it because I don’t have kids providing me intel on this subject?

Someone help me here. Is skipping high school athletic events actually a cool move these days? Help me out.

Meanwhile, we’ll keep going to football games. There aren’t that many home games to go until I’m shipping off this 5th grader to college or a trade school.

Need a commish ruling

• Don J. writes:

I need a ruling from you on the dilemma that I am facing. As you can see from the enclosed picture, my trusty Briggs and Stratton has lost one of her tires from the wear and tear of perfectly putting down stripes for 8 years now. She is still purring like a kitten but I’m not getting a level cut as you can imagine. I’m not clear on TNML rules on using any faulty or defective equipment. Seeing as how she is still operating fine, minus the self propelled feature, I’m hoping to finish up the season with her. Then I will consider putting her out to pasture, so to speak.

The Mrs. is telling me to dump her and to replace her. She doesn’t quite get the relationship that exists between us.

In the back of my mind I’m hoping that the mower might possibly be in the running for Comeback Mower of The Year at the League’s end of season’s awards. Please let me know of the League’s ruling.

On a side note I would like to announce that I was fortunate enough to be chosen for Masters tickets in their lottery that they conduct. Won the right to purchase 4 tickets for Tuesday practice rounds. Was wondering if many of our fellow Screencappers had the good fortune also?

I also would like to share that my son and I went to the Greenbrier for our first time to watch a LIV golf tournament.

My first impression was that it was a glorified traveling carnival. There was an idiot on a microphone doing some announcements up until the shotgun start. Got to see some great golf, we were there on Saturday so we missed Brysons record 58. Not many bleachers on the course like the PGA used to have over there. Food trucks for concessions.

There was no re-entry on the tickets, so you couldn’t go up to the hotel and come back. Lots of folks I talked to over there said that LIV rented out the whole resort for 30 million. I guess that was so they didn’t have to mingle with us poor folks, especially in the casino. During the PGA events that were held there you could go up to the hotel and casino and cool off and visit the casino and then come back down and watch more golf.

There was a Great White Shark sighting!

Also no Anheuser- Busch products sold there, just Modelos and Coronas.

Kinsey:

  1. Does your wife mow the lawn? If ‘yes,’ then I would say she gets a big say in whether to dump the mower and get a new one. If not, I say you get to make the decision. It’s like if men start telling women which options she should have on a minivan. If she wants the sunroof, is that really an argument you want to get involved in? We have to pick our spots.
  2. I’m sure there are hundreds of Screencaps/OutKick readers who received Masters tickets this year. Not a year goes by when I’m not hearing about readers making their first pilgrammages. I’m hoping to have a plan of action to get into the 2024 Masters. Fingers crossed it works.

Text messages from the school system

• John from SD writes:

Kids were back to school on Monday and same in this household; I would’ve said pack your lunches and let’s go!  Luckily the secretary had it planned out and operations were smooth.

Text messages from the school have to be controlled!

I’ve been wondering this for years, since the kids started elementary and middle school, both in high school now; why are (all-school) parking lots so bad and overcrowded? You brought this up on Friday.  Local radio station talked about this last week. In 1969, 90% of kids walked or rode their bikes to school. In 2022, only 11% did so. What can we do? These schools and parking lots weren’t designed in the (60s70s) to support this. Welcome back from your well deserved vacation. 

Kinsey:

Thank you for saying it! Between the text messages and emails, it feels like I’m an employee of the school system. I get that the school gets bashed if it doesn’t provide crazy levels of communication with the parents, but sheesh, it feels like I need a secretary for the secretary I need to hire to provide a buffer between myself and Mrs. Screencaps.

Shopping cart horrors

• Rory M. writes:

I’m the one in our friend group who people send pics of abandoned carts because they know how much it pisses me off.  Was going to stay out of the discussion until I remembered why I get so mad.

Probably about 12-13 years ago, I went over to the not so nice part of the South Atlanta suburbs near my old office on my lunch break because they had a Panda Express.  It was on the highway, out in front of a Kroger.  As I start digging into my orange chicken and fried rice (probably listening to Cowherd in the car, pre-podcast days), I notice something out of the corner of my eye.  It’s a shopping cart somebody had shoved after unloading, barreling at my car from at least 100yds away.  

It was like this thing was a laser guided military drone.  I fumbled with my fork and styrofoam tray, only to forget how to open a car door in my panic and watch this scud missile basket on wheels smash my driver side door right before my viewing eyes.

Never again.  I don’t say anything to anyone I don’t know, but I will grab a stray on my way into a store or take one from a kind citizen who is responsibly returning his/hers.

Bumper stickers

• Douglas J. writes:

Found this gem on my drive into work this morning.


That’s it. I need to get breakfast served up for the 5th graders in the house after a long night of football, gaming and whatever they watched on YouTube when I went to bed.

Have a great weekend. Gotta run.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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