The 7 Women Who Have Most Outkicked Their Coverage

Lara Travis

Hello, my name is Lara Travis. I am Clay’s wife. Yes, he’s actually married. To a real woman.

Shocking, I know.

Earlier this week Clay announced the Outkick the Coverage Hall of Fame for 2012. He acknowledged in that article that women could outkick their coverage too. That got me wondering, which women have most outkicked their coverage? We hear a ton about men outkicking their coverage on this site, but what about women?

Which women have snagged the most impressive catches, bombed the farthest punts, left other women dropping their jaws and saying, “Damn.”

After all, do you ever find yourself watching an awards show and think, “That really can’t be Denzel Washington’s wife!” In my case, this generally happens during the 16 hour pre-show red carpet special. I find great satisfaction in seeing a phenomenally good looking celebrity walk in front of the cameras with an average Joe or Jane on their arm. It gives me, for even a brief moment, the fantastical hope that if Matt Damon just happened to be next to me on the elliptical at the Y, he may look over and say, “Hey, you come here often?”  

But which women have actually outkicked their coverage the most? I decided to give you my top seven. 

 

Here we go: 

 

7.  Deborra Lee Furness – Married to Hugh Jackman since 1996

 

Sometimes what happens in a relationship is when the couple first meets the woman is actually more successful and attractive than the man. She is, in fact, the better catch. But then the years go by, the woman gets older and less attractive while he ages gracefully and becomes more distinguished or better looking. She takes a back seat in her own career to support her husband more fully and raise children, while he continues his rise to fame. I think that is what happened here. Hugh married Deborra when he was a nobody, and she had already been working as an actress for many years. She was the older (much older, 13 years older), wiser woman who would be his rock. He said in his recent Golden Globe acceptance speech for Best Actor (Les Miserables, ugh, I hate that musical) that his wife was an amazing person, and she probably is. But in celeb status and photo print, Hugh takes the prize. (Now that I’ve written this, tomorrow Hugh Jackman will file for divorce and start dating a 19 year old masseuse named Kyleigh.)

 

   

 

6. Heather Mills – Married to Paul McCartney in 2002 divorced in 2008

 

You have one leg, there are several prominent foreign businessmen who claim they were a client of yours when you were a professional escort, and besides them no one really knows who you are, and BOOM! You marry a Beatle!

 

And not Ringo, either.

 

Yes, she was also a model for a bit, but come on, not a super model. Some of that modeling is purported to have been nude or pornographic, even though she says it was for a German Sex Education manual. I’m not sure about you, but my 8th grade health class pamphlet did not look like this.

 

 

 

 

I know he is older and you can argue she is more attractive in that Brits are attractive kind of way, however, the real ringer for this outkicked entry is the approximate 48 million dollar divorce settlement. That is eight million a year.

 

Good work, Heather.

 

(Clay will now order “Die Freuden der Liebe” on Netflix. Just wait). 

 

5.  Elin Nordegren – Married to Tiger Woods from 2004 to 2010

 

Ok, Ok, Ok. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch. I can hear you through your computer screen screaming “WTF!” because, yes, Elin is smoking hot. She is so hot you are starting to sweat just thinking about her in those bikini photos. (Did you know she has a twin sister? Keep your pants on please). Herein lies my answer to the question “Can the most good looking person still outkick his or her coverage?” Elin outkicked her coverage not in the looks department, but in other areas. I mean, she was a nanny who married not just a professional athlete, but one of the richest, most successful athletes of all time. Tiger has had his fall from grace recently, but when he married Elin he was one of the the most famous and adored p eople on the planet. And she was a nanny for another golfer. This is the ultimate nanny fantasy. Girls graduating from high school and college across the country are thinking about becoming nannies for this very reason. To perhaps meet the wealthy family friend and become rich and famous themselves. Elin got a two million dollar wedding on an African game reserve – another little girl fairytale dream come true. Then she got approximately $100 million in a divorce settlement. Much better than our gal Heather above. Now she builds multi million dollar houses, goes on expensive dates, and hangs out at luxurious beaches with her two adorable children. Only Disney princesses ever get it this good.

 

 

 

4. Dany Garcia Johnson – Married to Dwayne Johnson from 1997 to 2007

 

I’m not ashamed to admit I am a huge Dwayne Johnson fan. When I was little I watched WWF every Saturday morning. I had all the wrestling action figures. I went to Wrestle Mania 3 at the Pontiac Silverdome and as many Saturday Night Main events as my dad would take me to. Late in college my inner wrestling superfan made a reappearance and it was all entirely due to The Rock. My mom bought me a life size cut out of The Rock as a joke when I was 22, but to me it was no joke.

 

I might be biased in thinking anyone who married him had outkicked her coverage, but when I saw the pictures I knew it was true. She does seem to be a fairly smart and accomplished woman in her own right, having served on the board of trustees at the University of Miami as well as starting her own businesses, but even when they first met he was probably a better catch. He was a football player at Miami and I can’t imagine he was any less attractive than he is now. Plus he can do that crazy eyebrow thing. (Insert stupid she smelled what the Rock was cooking joke here now.)

 

 

  

3. Whoopi Goldberg – Affair with Ted Danson; c. 1993

 

This one pretty much speaks for itself. It was a short lived affair, and in my extensive research was never actually confirmed by Danson, but I’m counting it because it led to his divorce. I mean, come on, this is Sam Malone and Oda Mae Brown. Ultimate score for Whoopi.

 

 

 

2. Monica Lewinsky – Sexual Encounters with Bill Clinton; c. 1995-1997

 

Monica was a recent graduate from a school you’ve never heard of with a BA in psychology who, through a family friend, got an unpaid internship at the White House. She had no discernible talents that distinguished her from the million other young women in the Washington, D.C. area. It’s not like she’d graduated summa cum laude (there’s a joke there) from Harvard, toiled her way through the political ranks, and landed a coveted job on Capitol Hill before she seduced the president with her amazing knowledge of Middle Eastern politics and ravishing beauty. She was not attractive. Arguably, in fact, she was even very unattractive. Especially for a 22 year old college grad. Yet, she landed (or landed on) the most powerful man in the world.

 

The President!

 

It’s absurd that this relationship ever happened. Proof, if you needed any at all, that Bill Clinton really would sleep with anyone. Monica Lewinsky outkicked her coverage so badly that she provoked a Constitutional crisis.

 

Some presidents, like JFK, chose to have their extra-marital affairs with gorgeous celebrities. Sorry, but Monica is no Marilyn Monroe.

 

Lewinsky is an outkicked phenom.

 

 

  

1. Brenda Warner – Married to Kurt Warner since 1998

 

I was tempted not to put Brenda in the #1 spot because she actually is more attractive now than she was whe n Warner won the Super Bowl with the Rams in 2000. She also has had seven children, beaten cancer, and is still in good shape. Plus, she seems to be a really good person. However, the iconic image of her kissing him after the Super Bowl game was talked about not so much for how supportive she was of him, or how much tragedy she had overcome in her life, but more for how much hotter he is than her. I would say that even though she is more attractive today, he’s still the much better looking of the pair. Also, when they first met she was already a divorced mom with two children. It’s true that many young women find themselves in dreadful situations with an awful ex-husband and young children to support, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them, but a man who takes on two children who are not his own, adopts them, and raises them, is a saint. Then he also turned out to be an amazingly handsome Super Bowl MVP.

 

Get it Brenda.

 

 

Plus, they’re actually still together.

 

And happy.

 

…

 

Share your own women who have outkicked the coverage below.