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Texas Man Files Suit, Claims Gwyneth Paltrow Company’s Vagina Candle Was Faulty

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Texas man Colby Watson was a man just trying to burn a Gwyneth Paltrow vagina-scented candle sold by her company, Goop, in his bedroom in February when things turned ugly after a few hours of burn time. That’s when, Watson alleges, the vagina-scented candle “exploded” and “engulfed in high flames,” according to Watson’s class-action lawsuit that was filed Monday.

Watson says he bought the $75 “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle from Paltrow’s company and put it on his nightstand. One thing led to another and Colby decided it was time to light it up. And it burned. And burned. And burned…until BOOOOOMMMM….Paltrow’s vagina candle went absolutely nuts blowing flames all over Watson’s room.

This should be a quick and easy case, right? WRONG. Goop warned users not to burn the vagina candles for more than two hours.

“WARNING: BURN CANDLE WITHIN SIGHT. KEEP AWAY FROM THINGS THAT CATCH FIRE. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS. TRIM WICK TO 1/8” BEFORE EVERY LIGHTING. PLACE ON A STABLE, HEAT RESISTANT SURFACE. KEEP WAX POOL FREE OF DEBRIS. DO NOT BURN FOR MORE THAN TWO HOURS AT A TIME. ALLOW GLASS TO COOL COMPLETELY BEFORE HANDLING.

(Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images)

What does Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle smell like? Glad you asked because I was over on the Goop site and grabbed the description.

“With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth,” Goop says.

$75 for that smell seems a little high if you ask me. Look, I’m sure the geranium mixed with the cedar and then crossed with the Damask rose and ambrette seed is amazing, but let’s be honest here, it’s not $75 amazing.

Now Watson, who says the candle left a black ring on his nightstand, is suing for more than $5 million that would go to him and others out there who suffered mental anguish over Paltrow’s exploding vagina candle.

Paltrow’s company isn’t backing down and says this is just a frivolous lawsuit that they’ll squash and continue selling the vagina candles that are SOLD OUT. However, you can buy a $45 “This Smells Like My Orgasm” roll-on or the “This Smells Like My Vagina” perfume which can be purchased for $45.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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