Stephen A. Smith Is Not A Numbers Guy

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On Monday night, everyone’s favorite know-it-all got taken to school.

That’s right, Stephen A. Smith made a mess of the numbers, and folks on social media let him have it.

After the Celtics destroyed the Heat 102-82, Smith took to the airwaves to criticize the paltry production from Heat starters, who combined for just 18 points — in the entire game. So Smith was right to point fingers in their direction, but he ought to have saved some fingers for himself as well since he then gave himself a math pop quiz.

“Five starters combined for 18 points, that’s an average of six points per starter. If that ain’t pathetic, I don’t know what is,” the math whiz asserts with confidence. Take a listen:

I’m not sure which is worse, the math brain fart or the math brain fart as he called other people “pathetic.” But whichever it is, he should’ve just taken his lumps and moved on. What do you do when you’re in a hole? You have to stop digging.

But Stephen A. didn’t stop digging.

When fellow analyst John Anderson noted the basic division error Smith had made and murmured that each Heat starter averaged “less than” six points, Smith tried to redeem himself. But he ended up making things worse.

“Right, (it’s) less than that. Five and a half (points),” Smith nods, knowingly.

(Psst, Stephen A., it’s actually 3.6.)

Look, we have all had these moments. I’m just the resident comma girl here at OutKick, so I’m not throwing any stones about a mental math fumble. However, Stephen A. routinely sits before a microphone and passes judgment on people for their low moments. So he deserves what he gets.

And he’s getting a lot.

Ah yes, credit for trying, the participation trophy of elementary school grading. Anyway, it’s not the end of the world. The Eastern Conference Finals are now tied 2-2, and Game Three is tonight in Miami. So, God willing, Stephen A. can start over with a fresh slate.

But maybe he should keep his phone calculator handy. Just in case.

Written by Cortney Weil

Cortney Weil has a PhD in Shakespearean drama but now spends her days reading and writing about her first passion: sports. She loves God, her husband, and all things Michigan State.

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  1. Technology is getting so good now, moving so quickly. They have driverless vehicles apparently.
    Any chance of a remote for home viewers where we can choose to have the crowd effects microphone isolated to turn up the atmosphere and the ‘commentators’ muted? It’d then really be like being there, instead of some incessantly chattering overpaid fool in a headset assuring us we have a courtside or front row seat!

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