Washington Wizards Apologize Because People Were Too Soft For Scripted April Fool's Bit

April Fool's Day has come and gone, and it looks like most people made it out unscathed, with one exception: the Washington Wizards.

And it's all because people have become painfully soft.

On April Fool's Day, the Wizards decided to have a "fan" (those quotes will make sense in a second if they don't already) come to center court and try to make a blindfolded shot from half court for $10,000

However, the idea was to have the crowd and the various mascots on the court — including Montreal Canadiens mascot Youppi, for some reason — cheer no matter what happened to make the fan think they had just scored a cool 10 Gs.

They even busted out a big check, until they finally broke the news that it was all a ruse.

No harm, no foul.

All in good April Fool's Day fun… oh wait, I forgot that's not allowed anymore on account of how wussified everyone has become.

Never mind the 16,000 people who were in on the joke and had no problem with it; enough people on the internet complained that the Wizards had to release a statement on the matter.

I feel like a better team wouldn't have had to do this, but regardless, this is just total weak sauce from the Wizards.

Load management in the NBA was always going to lead to this Charmin-level of softness…

They pulled a prank — that turned out not even to be real because the guy you pulled it on was a plant — everyone laughed, and then, because a few humorless people who got stuffed in lockers as kids complained, they had to put out a statement about how they're committed to a positive experience for fans?

What wasn't positive? It was a pretend prank you pulled on what I can only assume was one of the sales guys, and everyone laughed!

I get putting out a statement to be like, "Hey, this was fake. Chillax," but the way this one grovels is just embarrassing.

It was fun, everyone had a good laugh, and no one got hurt because the victim was in on the joke.

But still, because we walk amongst — and worse yet, cater to — the biggest crybabies to have ever walked this planet, the Wizards had to give this hat-in-hand statement.

Which, by the way, is exactly what the little wusses were looking for.

So, next time this happens to any team, here's your statement:

"It's April Fool's Day. Grow up."

You're welcome, and thus concludes my PR master class…