Swedish Man Sets Record By Shoving 81 Matches In His Nose — Have World Records Jumped The Shark?

For most of my life, I have enjoyed the Guinness Book of World Records. When I was a kid, I used to love checking it out from the school library to read about the world's biggest ham sandwich or the world's fattest set of twins (shout out to the fat motorcycle twins, Billy and Benny McCrary. RIP).

It was also a fantastic book to keep on hand when you've got to kill time. If you're stuck in a waiting room, you just crack it open and read all about some guy from Bangladesh who decided one day, "Meh, clipping my fingernails isn't for me anymore," and after a couple of decades wound up with his photo in a book published by an Irish beer company.

What a life, and what a way.

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But I'm starting to think that the Guinness Book of World Records — and world records in general — are jumping the shark like Arthur Fonzarelli.

Hell, there's probably someone who actually did jump a bunch of sharks and wound up in the book for "Most Sharks Jumped While On Water Skis."

This is because they're giving people world records for anything. Most of the ones I see these days are for completely random things that are only records because hardly anyone else has thought to do them before.

Case in point, Martin Ströby — the pride of Helsingborg, Sweden — who set the record for most matches crammed into his nostrils a couple of months ago, per UPI.

Ströby stuffed 81 matches into those nose holes of his, which equates to roughly 40.5 matches per nostril. That obliterated the previous mark of 68 matches, which is really just child's play at this point.

But here's the thing that bugs me: why matches? Why not toothpicks, Q-tips, swizzle sticks, or those little mini swords that hor d'oeuvres get served with?

And why the nostrils as opposed to… any other orifice?

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It's all ridiculous. I just don't like the records that I feel like anyone with an afternoon, a box of matches, and the ability to stuff 41 of those matches into each nostril can break.

But while I think it's time for the folks at Guinness to stop giving out records to anyone who can do anything, this feat meant a lot to Ströby (which I believe is also the model name of a coffee table from Ikea).

"As a father, I want my children to look up to me in the same way I look up to my father, who has taught me more than I can write down," he said.

…Because you put matches up your nose?

Hey, maybe someday his kids will show their old man what's up and start stuffing matches and whatever else makes them happy up their nostrils.

And maybe if they're lucky and the people at Guinness aren't too busy (they're not), they can be record holders too.