Bring The Fat: Skim Gets Shut Out In Indy 500 Driver Milk Choices

With the Indianapolis 500 just a few days away, we have officially hit one of my favorite parts of the run-up to the Greatest Spectacle in Racing, and that is the milk selection.

As you may know, it's a long-standing tradition that the winner of the Indy 500 is presented with a big, frosty glass bottle of moo juice courtesy of the Indiana Dairy Association, which they promptly gulp down and dump over their heads.

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You may think dumping milk on your head would lead to some funky odors, but that's just the scent of victory, baby.

Anyway, each driver gets to select what kind of milk they drink, and this year we got an absolute stunner: skim milk was completely iced out by the entire field.

Wow. Now I have no problem with skim milk, but I've always argued that if you're going to win the Indianapolis 500, you want to celebrate with full-fat milk (which people forget is only like 3% fat, so one more percent than 2%… alright, I'm mathed out…).

But interestingly, of the five drivers who selected 2%, three of them are past winners of the Indy 500. Alexander Rossi won back in 2016, Takuma Sato has a pair of Indy 500 wins, while Helio Castroneves, of course, has four.

So, despite being smaller in number, you've got more 500 wins among those opting for 2%, so maybe the 2%-ers who have yet to win at Indy — Graham Rahal and Conor Daly — are onto something.

Now the big question: will a bottle of skim be on hand just to complete the set, or will they skip it, since there's absolutely no chance of them riding that little elevator thing outside the IMS Pagoda?

I say complete the set. You've already taken away all of skim milk's fat. Don't take this away from it too.