Patriots Return Opening Kickoff For A TD, And That Was The Most Boring Part Of Their First Half Against the Bills
"Exciting" doesn't even begin to describe the action we saw in the New England Patriots vs. Buffalo Bills game.
The Patriots visited Highmark Stadium for their second matchup against their divisional foe. While New England has no shot at the playoffs, they can at the very least make a rival’s chance of getting into the playoffs significantly harder.
Their upset bid got off to an electric start. Jalen Reagor returned the opening kickoff 98 yards for a touchdown that stunned the crowd.
Unfortunately for them, that’s the only good thing that’s happened in a gloriously chaotic game.
Quarterback Bailey Zappe dropped back on 1st-and-10 for the Patriots’ first play of their legitimate offensive possession. The ball was intended for tight end Mike Gesicki, but got broken up by cornerback Rasul Douglas.
That’s when Ed Oliver entered the chat. The defensive tackle chose the last day of 2023 to make arguably the best highlight by a defensive lineman this calendar year.
The deflected pigskin traveled back towards the line of scrimmage to an area where no lineman was that close by. But that didn’t matter for Oliver. The lineman somehow flung his 287-pound self towards the ball, reached out with one hand, and caught it before it touched the ground.
New England held the Bills to a field goal attempt. But the bad plays and mental mistakes avalanched from there.
Two possessions later, Zappe threw another pick on the first play from scrimmage (sound familiar?). Douglas did the honors this time after undercutting DeVante Parker’s slant route.
You would think after that, the offense couldn’t do anything worse. But if you know anything about the Patriots’ offense this season, you know what’s not the case.
On Zappe’s first pass of the drive (this seems to be a trend), he actually completed a pass to Pharaoh Brown. But just a few steps later, the Bills recovered the tight end’s ill-timed fumble.
Mind you, all of this happened in the FIRST QUARTER. But the next frame somehow began on an even worse note.
Zappe miraculously threw his third interception of the game, with Douglas taking it back for a pick-six.
As if that wasn't enough to make your head spin, Zappe (partially) redeemed himself by rushing in for a touchdown of his own just minutes later to make the score 20-14.
After seeing all the turnovers and wild plays, Josh Allen must have felt a little left out. After crossing midfield, the Bills quarterback threw a pick that killed his offense's momentum.
Forget about drug-testing players. The NFL needs to investigate what kinds of illegal substances this game consumed before kickoff.
And I need to go take some blood pressure medication to get my heart rate down.