Penis PED Rumors Have Winter Olympics On Edge
Are Olympics ski jumpers using penis enhancements to gain an advantage in the 2026 Winter Games?
Size does matter.
The drama surrounding the Winter Olympic penis measuring contest at the ski jumping hill has been settled thanks to new rules that will prevent competitors from bending the rules.
What's this all about? Phallic-region manipulation of ski suits is believed to have helped two Norwegian jumpers during the 2025 world championships and the sport has been bent out of shape ever since.
Here's the science behind the cheating for those of us who aren't scientists: The ski jumper adds fabric where his junk sits in the suit, which then creates more surface area which allows the suit to grab more air, which keeps the jumper in the air longer and he'll fly further.
Look at the junk region of this guy. Notice how the area between his legs looks like one of those suits Red Bull guys use when they're jumping off cliffs? That's where penis-gate developed.
Vilho Palosaari (Finland) IS NOT at the center of penis-gate. He's just competing at the 2026 Milan Olympic Games. (Photo by Daniel Karmann/picture alliance via Getty Images)
Ah, but this is high-level competition. Athletes adjust. Enter the world of possibly using substances to increase the size of the bulge in their britches.
That's right, penis PEDs.
World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has its eyes peeled for penis PEDs ahead of Olympic Games
This week, WADA was asked about the possibility that ski jumpers are injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises. Why would they do that? According to Google Gemini, the acid acts as a filler.
Girth. Mass. Bigger dong. More fabric to act as a parachute in the sky.
The National Institute of Health has even studied using hyaluronic acid to help with small penis syndrome (SPS). How much girth are we talking? Experts say it's between 1.5 to 3.5 centimeters.
Mackenzie Boyd-Clowes (Canada) is not being investigated for penis PEDs. (Photo by Daniel Karmann/picture alliance via Getty Images)
The ski jumpers have, according to reports, done studies and found that the added suit circumference creates an advantage. It's believed that the added girth can be worth up to 5.8 meters in competition.
WADA says that if there's any "sign" that a ski jumper is trying to game the system, the agency will take the claims seriously. "If anything was to come to the surface, we would look at it and see if it is doping related. We don't address other [non-doping] means of enhancing performance," a representative said Thursday.