College Football Ref Uses Superhuman Reflexes To Protect His Family Jewels
His cat-like reflexes saved his manhood
If there's one thing that all men can relate to, it's the idea that most of life is about staying vigilant in an effort to protect their testicles from accidental blunt-force trauma. Sometimes, that manifests itself in the form of borderline superhuman reflexes, as was the case for one college football referee.
NC State paid a visit to Wake Forest for some Thursday night college football.
The Wolfpack took down the Demon Deacons 34-24, but enough about the score, we've got to talk about this otherworldly act of protecting the ol' twins' playpen.
According to Larry Brown Sports, Wake Forest quarterback Robby Ashford stepped up in the pocket while under pressure from the NC State pass rush and fired a pass straight up the middle of the field.
However, between Ashford and the intended receiver was an on-field official who displayed some lightning-quick reflexes to preserve the integrity of his manhood.
That guy was a fraction of an inch away from ending up like Hans Moleman.
You know how they say a parent can get superhuman strength if their kid is trapped under a car? I think something similar to that happens for men any time there's a projectile flying toward their genitals.
I mean, if you throw something at my head, I might be able to duck if I get enough of a head start, but if that thing is headed below-the-belt, I suddenly turn into Neo from The Matrix.
I'm just glad this worked out for that ref and he got those mitts down there to defend the family jewels. It would be tough to come back from being carted off the field while holding a bag of frozen peas to your groin.
Those are just some rough optics. He'd probably have to change his name… or at least switch to reffing soccer.