Mark Zuckerberg Spent The Fourth Of July Wakeboarding In A Bald Eagle Costume

I hope you had a nice Fourth of July. I know I did. I'm not sure what you did, but I feel confident saying that whatever you did, it wasn't quite like Facebook founder and Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg's Independence Day.

Now, of course, you might be thinking: "Well, duh, Matt; you handsome devil, you. Of course, my Fourth of July wasn't quite like a billionaire's."

Fair point (thanks for the compliment, by the way) but Zuck's Fourth could be accomplished pretty easily. 

All you need is a boat (or a buddy with a boat) and an inflatable bald eagle costume.

Zuck hit the lake in full bald eagle regalia while wakeboarding — or is that wake surfing? Not sure, and don't really care — to the theme song from the fantastic comedy Team America: World Police, which contains some profanity, so if you're going to watch it in a doctor's waiting room or a funeral, maybe turn the volume down or grab some earbuds.

"F--k yeah," indeed!

I haven't seen him this excited since he snuck a peek at Lauren Sanchez.

Speaking of which, I'm curious about where he got that costume though. Spirit Halloween stores aren't open yet, Party City has gone belly up, and I'm not sure even Zuckerberg would want to wear a used inflatable eagle costume he bought off of Facebook Marketplace.

So… did we just catch Zuck getting high on Old Man Bezos' supply again?!

The guy might be a Prime Member.

I love seeing people get excited about the Fourth of July, and maybe this is the kind of thing Zuck does every year, but I feel like having Trump back in office may have gotten him and a lot of other people fired up and throwing on some Old Navy patriotic t-shirts.

Sure, there were plenty of whiners bah humbug-ing the Fourth of July, but that's only because they're so far up their own political asses they've forgotten the true meaning of Independence.

Freedom.

And if you want to celebrate by wake surfing in an inflatable eagle costume, God bless you, you live in America.