Crab Claws In A Helmet? Mariners Go Full Bougie With Playoff Ballpark Food

I believe at this point, it's a scientific fact: all food tastes better when eaten out of a novelty something or other.

You can't beat ice cream out of a mini-batting helmet or chicken tenders and fries out of a tiny Zamboni. 

But no one has ever classed this idea up quite like the Seattle Mariners have.

Move over, ice cream and tendies; crab claws and caviar would like a word.

It's been a few years since the Mariners were back in the playoffs, so it makes sense that the team would want to do something special. So, for the playoffs, it grabbed some plastic batting helmets and stuffed them full of crab claws.

And if that alone didn't make you feel like throwing on a monocle and spats, maybe some caviar will.

Now, that looks incredible… but is it a good ballpark option?

I'd never turn down crab legs. If I were dying of dehydration on the blistering sands of the Sahara and someone came to save me with a canteen in one hand and a bushel of crab legs in another, I'd reach for the crab legs.

I would hope that the crab juice in them would hydrate me enough to then grab the canteen.

But if not, at least I went out doing what I loved.

That said, I have what they like to call "empathy," and while the crab-eater might have the time of their life sucking every last morsel out of claws while sitting in the stands at T-Mobile Park, everyone else would hate their guts.

That's because crab has something of a blast radius. Snap one open, and some of that aforementioned crab juice sprays everywhere. That's all well and good if you're kitted out in a paper bib, but for those who aren't, it's not fun.

Also, crab claws can be hard to get into. Are you provided with the proper tools to get the job done? Crackers and little cocktail forks? If so, are you supposed to get the job done while balancing the meal, batting helmet, and all, on your lap?

And then what happens to the spent shells?! They need a receptacle!

By my count, you need a 2-3 empty seat radius around you to enjoy this comfort, and I hope, for the Mariners' sake, that's not doable in the postseason.

Don't get me wrong, though, I would still do this.

I may have empathy, but I can also ignore it if it means enjoying some delicious crab.

Everyone else be damned.