Homeland Security Uses Dale Earnhardt To Trigger Libs, NASCAR Race-Rigging Concerns & Maybe The Playoffs Work?

I know this won't be popular, but, frankly, I don't care. It's a Monday, I'm tired, the Dolphins stink and the Red Sox are eliminated, so what else do I have to look forward to right now?

Nothing! So, let's pump out some hot takes. 

The last few laps of that race at the ROVAL – guess who won, by the way! – are exactly why you have some sort of playoff system. I know – not a popular take. Fans suddenly hate the NASCAR playoff system. Y'all were fine with it for a decade — never heard a PEEP — but now it's Hitler reincarnated. 

Or, as the Dems like to call it, ‘Trump.’ 

But, I don't hate it. I think it needs tweaking and refining. But I'm certainly not in the "blow it up!" camp, because of races like Sunday. 

Do you think we get Ross Chastain steering his car backwards across the finish line in a season-long format? Of course not! Hell, in a season-long format, nobody is even watching that race yesterday. They're certainly not watching the ending, when SVG was winning by 15 seconds. 

(And that will be the ONLY mention of him today, by the way.)

But the few who did tune in STAY tuned in because of the playoff implications between Ross Chastain and Joey Logano. And they got to see Denny Hamlin unknowingly shove Chastain out of the playoffs, and then Chastain send Hamlin to the sun on the final turn. 

That doesn't happen if it's all blown up. That, right there, is the argument to keep it around. Don't shoot me! I'm just telling you the truth! 

Let's get into it! We'll get to Hamlin vs. Chastain here in a bit, followed by the Department of Homeland Security/NASCAR crossover you've all been waiting for! That's right. What a moment. 

We also had a NASCAR wedding earlier this week, believe it or not. When you race 10 months out of the year, I reckon you don't exactly have a ton of save-the-date options. 

Four tires, enough fuel to get us firmly into the Round of 8, and maybe some better communication for Denny Hamlin … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Ross Chastain Loves Doing Weird Shit’ edition – is LIVE!

Denny Hamlin chose … wisely!

So, all the talk coming out of Charlotte is Denny vs. Ross. What did Denny know? Did he make the right choice? Did he get lucky? Will it come back to bite him at Phoenix? 

Let's start with the first part … Denny said he didn't know a thing about the points situation between Ross Chastain and Joey Logano late in the race. Normally, I'd call BS on that, but we can also easily verify it, given all the radio communication is public at this point. So, I assume he's telling the truth:

Obviously, this is where it gets dicey 

So, I'm in the ‘Denny made the right call’ camp here. Like my earlier playoff take, I think I'm on an island here, but whatever. Again, I don't care. 

I know Joey Logano's the defending champ. I get it. I know the Penske guys are – and will be – really good at Phoenix next month. 

But I'd take Logano over Chastain any day of the week if I'm Denny Hamlin. He (Ross) has been faster all year. He's been more consistent. I think he's more of a threat than Joey Logano. I don't know if Denny feels that way, and his poker face in that video didn't tell a ton. 

That does beg the question … does Denny Hamlin openly admitting in the above video that, had he known the situation, he would have manipulated the race to his advantage, sort of throw a wet towel on the playoff format I just defended? 

Fair is fair, and I have to be fair here. It's a fair question, right? Denny Hamlin literally just said he would have essentially rigged the next round to his liking based on who he wanted to face. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, personally. I think all this crap, at one point or the other, is somewhat manipulated. It's like at Daytona or Talladega when "team orders" come down and all the Chevys, Toyotas and Fords work together. That's always been a version of race manipulation. 

If a driver is good enough to be in the position to choose who he wants to race against for a championship, then he shouldn't be punished for choosing. That's Hot Take No. 3 today!

I'm on a roll!

NASCAR & The Department of Homeland Security, WAG Weddings & Kyle Busch!

Maybe I'll be eating my own words in a few weeks if Logano ends up pulling another title out of his ass. I just don't see it happening. 

Vegas-Talladega-Martinsville. That's what lies ahead in the Round of 8, and Joey's starting 19 points below the bubble. He didn't light the world on fire at any of those places earlier this year, but, obviously, ‘Dega’s a wild card. We'll see. 

My Phoenix predictions as we sit here on Oct. 6? I'll go Hamlin, Blaney, Byron and Chase … Elliott! Feel like that team is getting better at the right time, and he's got some good tracks coming up. 

He also just did a NASCAR gender reveal, so I think he's got some solid karma on his side:

Maybe let the tension build just a tad next time, Chase! Didn't even give them a pause. Just … BAM, you're having a boy. Next in line. 

OK, couple quickies on the way out. First up? Wonder how the Libs in Charlotte and Daytona feel about THIS from the Department of Homeland Security?

Incredible. God, what a TIME to be alive right now. The federal government has been shut down for days, and the void has basically just been filled by a ton of shitposting by both sides. 

Trump and the White House are just putting sombreros on EVERYONE now, while DHS is using Dale Earnhardt to talk about life before illegals. 

This is what it's all about, boys and girls. Soak it all in. 

Next? You know who 100% doesn't want any of it? Kyle Busch!

Yeah, I think that's seriously on the table after the season(s) he's had. Just my opinion, but Kyle Busch HAS to be beyond miserable right now. Thank God he's got a hot wife at home. 

Only four races left till #VacationSZN, Sam! Hang in there!

Speaking of hot wives … congrats to Harrison Burton and Jenna Petty for tying the knot earlier this week! 

Take us to Vegas, you two.