Five Companies That NEED To Sponsor A Bowl Game
Tell me you wouldn't watch The Blackstone Bowl on a Saturday in late-December.
Today is a pretty big day for bowl games in college football, but when compared to its peers, one bowl stands out among the rest.
That's right, folks, today is the big day: the Pop Tarts Bowl is happening!
No other bowl seems to understand both the pageantry and the silliness of bowl season quite like The Pop Tarts Bowl.
I mean, just look at the excitement being generated by a random, late-December bowl game.
Even the branding and on-field decor is next-level, proving Pop Tarts understands the assignment.
With all the pomp and circumstance surrounding today's Pop Tarts Bowl, I wanted to share with everyone a few companies that I think should sponsor bowl games.
I chose these companies with the idea that their lead-up, pregame, and postgame festivities could all mirror the Pop Tarts Bowl, so with all that being said, here are five bowl games that need to happen.
Blackstone
Wouldn't it be great if, instead of buying up land and single-family homes and then selling them to foreign investors, they built a stadium on that land and hosted a bowl game?
Think of all the jobs they could create doing this!
And all the families whose homes they bought out from under them could get lifetime tickets to the game every year.
It's a small consolation prize for having private equity prey on your dreams of being a homeowner, but hey, free bowl tickets are a treasure.
IKEA
Maybe it's just because I've had to build a bunch of furniture in the past few days, but I would pay good money to see the players from each college team try to assemble different beds and dressers with an instruction booklet in Swedish.
You thought you were going to play cornhole and go bowling in the lead-up to this game? Wrong.
Even the trophy would have to be assembled, but by the losing team.
Talk about added pressure; no one wants to spend a postgame putting together an IKEA trophy.
The Humane Society
I love animals, so this one is more wholesome than the others on the list.
How cool would it be if all the players volunteered at one of the shelters as part of the bowl game lead-up?
And then they would get to adopt one of the animals from their hometown shelter.
The exposure and PR would be great, too, as plenty of people who watched the game would be thinking of adopting a pet after being bombarded with Humane Society advertisements.
You can only see so many of those Sarah McLaughlin specials before your heart cracks and you come home with a lab mix.
Levi's
Since the Pop Tart Bowl has sprinkled helmets, imagine what the Levi's Bowl would have for alternate uniforms.
Say it with me now: all denim helmets.
You could have denim-themed endzones too, and the MVP of the game could get a custom denim jacket.
It's like The Masters, but trendier!
Jersey Mike's
These other ones are just pure child's play compared to my true vision: The Jersey Mike's Sub Above Bowl!
Sub eating contests, custom sub-building competitions, sub-themed uniforms, and more!
The postgame would be where this one really shines, though, as the winning head coach would be doused in oil and vinegar (or "the juice," as they call it at Jersey Mikes) instead of Gatorade and Danny DeVito would hand out the trophy, which would just be a giant, golden Mike's Way sub.
Have your people call my people, Jersey Mike's. We will get to work on this.