Some Dirtbag Stole Curling Stones From The Paralympics (Which Seems Hard To Do)
Luckily, the theft didn't keep the competition from getting underway
I don't know what it is, but sometimes the sports and competitions you least expect to generate the most controversy surprise you.
I mean, just do a quick search for "chess cheating scandals."
Then maybe clear your browser afterward.
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Curling falls into this camp as well, because just weeks after a cheating scandal at the 2026 Olympics, they've got a problem at the 2026 Paralympics: someone stole a couple of curling stones.
Dude, where's my stones?!
The Paralympics hold wheelchair curling competitions, and mixed doubles teams were informed that some of the stones that were supposed to be ready to go at Cortina Curling Olympic Stadium had disappeared.
A couple of curling stones went missing just before the start of the Paralympics in Milan and Cortina. (Photo by Mattia Ozbot/Getty Images)
The CBC reports that this had no impact on the competition, as new stones were quickly brought in, but that doesn't change the fact that whoever stole these is a dirtbag.
First of all, getting curling stones seems like a real pain. You can't just roll into Dick's Sporting Goods to grab a set and a pack of Quench gum for your troubles.
They're all made from granite found on one of two Scottish islands, and there are only a handful of people who even know how to make them.
It makes them sound like mystical objects, even though I'm aware they're just very large rocks with handles.
Although it is mildly impressive that some kleptomaniac was able to steal curling stones at all.
READ: OLYMPIC CURLING CHAOS AS SWEDEN ACCUSES TEAM CANADA OF CHEATING DURING HEATED ON ICE CONFRONTATION
I mean, I understand the mechanics of how one would go about a DVD or candybar, but curling stones?
Unless you stuff them in a suitcase or a comically oversized trench coat, I'm not sure how that could be done.
Even then, someone would probably spot the handle because you didn't tie the trench coat tight enough, and then you're foiled.
And then, if you are successful, what do you do with them? Either curl with them or use it to hold down a tarp in the back of your truck.
That's about it.
The authorities are currently looking into the theft, and thankfully the Paralympic curling competition is now underway.