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Someone Stole The Purse Of Zach Wilson’s Mom, And She Is Pissed About It

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Lisa Wilson, mother of Jets quarterback Zach Wilson, is apparently surrounding herself with more dicks than a urologist’s office. She recently took to Instagram to lash out at the “D’s” who snatched her purse from her daughter’s wedding. The naked eye suggests that purse-gate could’ve gone down when Lisa was bringing some bounce to the dance floor:

“Everybody’s asking me if my bag was ever turned in — no. As much as I wanted to believe that the world was all good, there are apparently dicks out there. So, hope you guys enjoy my Mo’Bettah’s food, and my DJ and all the fun that I provided for you as you stole my purse and walked out. Screw you.” Said Lisa.

Her rant didn’t stop there, nor did the name calling. Lisa threw out one of the most hurtful, three-word insults in recent memory: Big. Stupid. Thief. “I have no words. There are so many dicks in the world, I just cannot believe it. So, come to find out, we know of at least one card that had a check that was stolen at the wedding. Big, stupid, thief.”

According to Mrs. Wilson, the purse thief has been eating good, when convenient, on her dime: “Some dick’s been ordering Door Dash on my credit card for a month.”

In case you didn’t notice, Wilson’s been a little stressed since the post-nuptial ordeal, saying she is “grumpy and pissed off over the situation,” before adding, “Screw you dicks out there.”

Zach and the Jets may not be all that entertaining this fall, but Mrs. Wilson appears ready for primetime.

 

 

 

 

 

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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