Slanted Toilets Are Here To Get You To Do Your Business And Get On With It

Slanty the sloped toilet is here to make bathroom lines a thing of the past.

That or make a bathroom emergency a hellish nightmare.

If the inventor of Slanty has their way, gone are the days of getting lost in an article or perusing Twitter while waiting for that afternoon's Chipotle to "subside."

Slanty, as the name implies, is a slanted toilet, as opposed to the kind we've all become accustomed to that feature a toilet seat parallel to the ground. The idea is that some of the user's body weight is on their legs, making it uncomfortable to sit on for long periods of time.

Science.

Mahabir Gill designed the new-fangled toilet a few years ago. However, recently they were getting some buzz as a possible way to increase productivity.

As is the case for many of history's greatest ideas — and fittingly in this instance — he came up with the idea while waiting in line for a public bathroom.

“I stopped off at the motorway to go to the loo and realized there was a huge queue. I wondered what people were doing in there, some were coming out with their mobile phones,” Gill told the BBC in 2019.

Does Slanty Unfairly Punish Those In The Throes Of An "Emergency?"

I love the idea of sloped toilets in public. Keep it moving folks, you can do your reading at home. Some of us are on a date and need to clock out in under two minutes to save face.

While Slanty has been around for a few years, it has come up again as some have wondered if installing them in workplaces could increase productivity.

It makes sense in principle. Still, I feel for the guy who came to work and get's dealt a poor hand on the gastrointestinal front. That poor fella may want to get back to work, but at that point, it's not up to him.

It's not fair to punish that guy. Just because his co-workers like to skip work by hiding in the john and playing Candy Crush, doesn't mean he should have to pay.

However, maybe the answer is sloped toilets, but then have one "Break glass in case of emergency" old-school toilet.

Who decides what is a fair use of the emergency traditional can remain to be seen. Perhaps each municipality could form a tribunal to review these instances on a case-by-case basis.

Or we could just stick with classic, level toilets.

I mean, if it ain't broke, don't fix it...

... Or make it slanted.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.