Seattle Opening 'Vaccinated Only' Sections. Why? Do Vaccines Not Work?

Starting May 13, fans attending Mariners' T-Mobile Park will be able to purchase seats in the "vaccinated only" section. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of getting a vaccine that we rushed out? The vaccinated still aren't safe from regulations, so why get the damn thing? Well, being a sheep is one reason off the top of my head.

"Getting vaccinated is the single most important thing we can all do to protect ourselves, our families, and our community. Encouraging vaccinations and helping make them accessible to everyone will save lives," major owner of the Mariners John Stanton said.

Who knew?! All these millionaire movie stars and musicians have been spending astronomical amounts of money on armed guards to defend themselves -- Turns out all they needed to do was pull up their sleeves. Because in the words of John Stanton, who's described on Wikipedia as a "business man" that knows nothing about medical practice, getting vaccinated is the key to our safety.

What Stanton meant to say when he wrote: "This program is an on-going effort to encourage as many people to get vaccinated as possible," he meant: evangelize. This program is designed to pander to social media and convince conservatives that these regulations suck. They suck so bad that the only way they'll go away is if pesky conservatives stop questioning doctors hired by the federal government.

This might actually be a good thing

It's kinda nice that we won't have to sit next to people scared of a virus they have virtually zero chance to die from. And the mature adults that chose to get vaccinated and aren't scared will just sit with us. Sounds like a plan!

There's nothing wrong with trusting science to protect yourself and your family. We have a problem when you're insisting on changing lives for those that chose not to. After all, freedom of choice is what makes this country special.

Seattle will continue to hand-craft pointless mission statements in their pursuit of full control, and they'll never get it. We just won't allow it.