I know this will probably shock y’all, but Rob Gronkowski, a multi-millionaire badass NFL tight end that you all love, has a hot girlfriend.
I know, I know, totally didn’t see that one coming either.
Her name is Camille Kostek and she’s a former Patriots cheerleader and I decided to seek out her Instagram and spend thirty minutes looking at all her pictures so you guys don’t have to. Message: I care.
That sound you hear is millions of sad New England girls — and lots of gay men too — wailing together. Yep, Gronk’s off the market.
But I’m here with some good news: After extensive Instagram research, I can report the following: she’s just like you and me.
Don’t believe me, check out these six Instagram photos which illustrate how totally normal she is.
She side planks in her bikini and posts the photo on Instagram. I mean, who doesn’t?
She does a bikini fashion shoot and someone doesn’t just take pictures of her, they also take pictures of the douchebag taking pictures of her. So typical of my family beach trips.
She wears the jersey of her boyfriend’s quarterback to celebrate his non suspension? Been there, done that. (Sidenote, you might be thinking to yourself: is it possible for a belly button to be sexier than this? The answer is, yes, my belly button would start a Holy War if I ever revealed it publicly.)
She’s so hot, she takes selfies of herself without even including her face and you can still tell how hot she is. Honey, I perfected this move. In fact, to prove it, my bosses at Fox just texted me this week to let me know they aren’t even going to show my entire body on the Fox College Football Kickoff Show this week. Something about my hotness melting too many television screens last week.
She gets her picture taken with Brody Jenner and isn’t even the hottest person in the photo. I know this is hard to believe, but this happens with me and Brody all the time when we hang out at Bungalow.
Finally, she dreams of being in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Girlfriend, you and me and need to hang.