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If you’re a female aspiring to smuggle drugs from Mexico to the United States, it’s time to go to with plan B. Last week, a Mexican woman was caught near the Texas-Mexico border with fentanyl on her person. Or more specifically, in her person.
Per the U.S. Customs and Border Protection website, a female U.S. citizen attempted to smuggle 0.26 pounds of fentanyl into the U.S. on March 2nd by way of a condom stowed away inside her vagina.
At least she’s practicing safe smuggling.
— CBP West Texas (@CBPWestTexas) March 5, 2022
Fortunately for the 19-year-old smuggler, condom or not, she had no risk of being impregnated by way of insertion — she was already two months pregnant when she opted to stash a quarter of a pound of fentanyl between her thighs.
“It is tragic that people are willing to put themselves in these dangerous situations,” said CBP El Paso Director of Field Operations Hector A. Mancha. “This synthetic opioid is so powerful that if a package were to rupture inside the body, the consequences could be life threatening.”
The pregnant runner wasn’t the only daring deviant who unsuccessfully attempted to drag drugs across the border last Wednesday.
A 39-year-old woman opted to try her hand at smuggling drugs through the backdoor, before being nabbed. As detailed by Customs and Border Protection, the woman had 0.17 pounds of fentanyl concealed in her rectum. She readily admitted to the crime and voluntarily removed the drugs from the compromised area.
Unbelievable what kind of crap these border patrol agents see every day.
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF