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Anything can be a mask if you try hard enough. Not every makeshift mask will do an equal job of concealing your identity.
Women’s underwear, for instance, won’t get the job done if you’re hoping to conceal your identity while stealing packages from a porch.
Nobody knows this better than Spencer Gougler. He stole a package off a porch in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with a pair of red panties on his head. A security camera caught the theft on video and led to his arrest.
This isn’t Gougler’s first time being arrested for porch pirate-related activities; shockingly, neither was it the first time he wore women’s underwear while stealing packages.
The Tulsa Police Department revealed after the arrest that the use of panties as a mask made it easier for officers to identify him. The police said, “We were provided surveillance images of the suspect, and Flock helped locate the suspect vehicle.”
“One of our Street Crimes Officers recognized the suspect from previous porch pirate cases where the suspect was wearing women’s underwear as a mask.”
When police arrived at Gougler’s house, he refused to speak with officers. They were able to secure a warrant, and once they did, he surrendered without incident.
This Porch Pirate Needs A New Approach
Gougler was reportedly taken to the Tulsa County Jail. He was booked on five counts of larceny, knowingly concealing stolen property and grand larceny.
He might not be the brightest criminal around, but you have to give him some credit for sticking with his calling card. This guy picked women’s underwear as a mask, and he’s going to stick to it.
I would suggest a slight alteration to his approach. I don’t know if he stole the underwear or if they’re his own personal pair or what. They could even belong to that special someone in his life. Whatever the case, he might want to try a pair of granny panties.
They’re not going to fit the same as what he’s used, but they will conceal more of his face.