Joe Kinsey
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Newsletters, substacks, email blasts are piling up. Now someone explain why they’re so boring
Over the last 10 days or so it hit me that everyone in their brother is in the newsletter/Substack game and it’s reminding me of the old days when I first started blogging way back in 2007, but things were FUN, real FUN back then.
Today, for example, I open up the Robinhood newsletter that somehow made it to my inbox and it’s full-on market misery, which is understandable since Robinhood is in the investing world, but then that’s followed up by miserable consumer news, miserable news on the crypto winter and Russia rebranding its McDonald’s.
I go over to The Hustle substack or newsletter. At this point I can’t tell the difference and the lead is that Amazon might’ve run out of workers to hire (enter robots…I’ve said it hundreds of times, we’re being replaced…soon).
That’s followed by news on teacher shortages, Google ripping off small businesses (allegedly) and recycling pee, which is pretty interesting. That was the extent of the FUN.
Look, my point here is that we’re inside of an era where the FUN has been completely sucked out of our bodies. The Internet was born to be fun and wild. Meanwhile, at some point, the stuck-up nerds took over the controls at thousands of businesses and announced there would be no fun.
Now we’re stuck with absolutely miserable newsletters and substacks piling up in my inbox that lack an ounce of fun.
Dammit, summer starts today. This is when we should be relaxing. This is when you should be having driveway beers. The music should be on. Kids should be creating their own adventures in the pools.
It’s June 21 and I can’t get one of these newsletters or substacks to relax for one damn minute. Write a dirty joke into these newsletters. Show some skin. Embed a fart video.
So my message today, as I pack my bags to get out of here for a few days, is to go out in the wild this summer and have FUN. Please. I’m begging you.
Don’t let these miserable newsletters and substacks win the battle with your brain.
Oh, and make sure to send in moments of fun that you come across. That’s why this column is read by tens of thousands of people on a daily basis.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
Display outside Rocco’s Pizza in Omaha
• Bill C. from Mississippi is back out on the road and this time he’s at the College World Series. Bill writes:
I don’t [think] the cooler is full of Jell-O shots.
Patio Lost and Found advice
• Guy G. writes:
I’m finally caught up at work and home after adding the 3rd kid to the mix. Seem to have found a new groove, and the 2yo is helping (riding) with the TNML crew now.
I smoked a brisket for Father’s Day. Brisket eggs needs to be in your weekend eating rotation. While the eggs are not attached, having this beautiful piece to slice at 1030a Sunday morning….great way to start the day.
Lost and found at our place, which used to have legendary parties, was that you had to call/text in 2 days, in order to have it delivered back to you. Now, if it’s here, and you forgot, come get it. Our parties are more tame now, and are usually cleared out by 11p, except for Super BBQ Weekend (Labor Day) which goes a bit later. We have gained more koozies than we know what to do with, and stash them in a basket for use at the next party. Food storage containers get washed and put into our rotation, until claimed at a later time.
We’re all real adults now. If you leave it, that’s on you….unless its kids clothes or toys. We’ll get those back quickly.
Killington golf
• Rob in NC writes:
Great annual get together with my HS boys and I’d recommend a New England golf trip if you haven’t done so. Killington CC and Fox Run CC in Ludlow VT both great. Took home 38$ and the JBO(brother we lost few yrs ago) trophy for a year was in a winter hat Saturday but well worth it. Hope you enjoy yours coming up and I came home to a Blackstone griddle so got to get coached up on that and will take any suggestions or recipes. Have a great trip and keep it up SCN.
Aren’t you supposed to christen a Blackstone with bacon and eggs with a side of hashbrowns and then smash burgers in the same night?
On dads
• Mike T. in Idaho thought you guys would appreciate this reflection from Utah football coach Kyle Whittingham as told to long-time Oregonian writer John Canzano:
“Everything I am as a coach, a teacher I got from my father. I had the good fortune to play for him college. He treated me harder than anyone else. I’ve never been around a coach who convey complex information in a simplistic manner. Everything I am, I learned from my father. He was disciplined. I went to BYU as a fullback. After my freshman year I moved to linebacker. I got some mop-up duty as a sophomore. One time at the end of the game my sophomore season against UTEP we were way ahead. It was a QB sprint out. It was my job to fire on him and keep the quarterback contained. I didn’t fire. They made a big play. I blew the assignment. I came to the sideline and my dad said, ‘You stink! You were awful!’ I used that as motivation. It lit a fire under me. That one moment stands out more than any other in my college career.”
On jet fuel for lawn mowing
• Beau in Toledo’s jet fuel usage — he says it costs around $8.05 a gallon right now — has captured the attention of Ryan S. in NW Ohio who writes:
All things considered, especially when you throw the words airplane or jet in front of fuel, $7.28 – $8.48, isn’t too bad. I thought for sure it would be $10 and up.
Is it weird that diesel fuel is around $6.18 in Ohio, jet fuel is $8.05 and it costs around that much to fill up a boat on Lake Erie? Ryan is right, it feels like jet fuel would be way higher just based on the application.
Maybe a fuel expert out there could help put some perspective on this topic.
Speaking of Beau in Toledo
• Beau has his finger on the pulse of inflation. He writes:
A coworker sent me this... BU is a dang good bakery on Secor around the corner from me... #FJB
On the solstice
Now I need to check-in with Screencaps reader Raleigh in Fairbanks, AK to see how he and his fellow Alaskans are celebrating the solstice. If you’ve never experienced a summer evening in Alaska, I highly recommend it. There’s something about walking out of a bar at midnight and it not being dark.
Go out there and attack the first day of summer. I have a golf bag to pack.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
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Re; Substack … I have posted a 3X/week newsletter for several years. I used traditional email marketing platforms and never got more than 30% “deliverability”. Switching to Substack 3 months ago I now get 55-60% deliverability to the same email addresses consistently topping 100,000 “Opens”.
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Substack’s task bar is limited but ever-improving. Their Help Desk is fine … once you can establish contact with them. … FWIW.
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