Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos Are Rampaging Across Colombia

*Disclaimer: I would just like to tell the Pablo Escobar and Medellín Cartel supporters that I don’t want any trouble with them. I’m just blogging this because people are completely fascinated by the drug lord lifestyle, especially when the drug lord in question was worth an estimated $30 billion in 1993 money before his death when the Colombian National Police pumped El Padrino full of lead. 

There are reports out suggesting it’s time to take out the descendants of hippos brought to Colombia by Escobar way back when he was ruling the country via blow and violence. Brave scientists are sounding the alarm that Escobar’s cocaine hippos are banging like rabbits and have now become the “largest invasive species on the planet,” according to The Telegraph.

The story goes that Pablo got rich from the blow, had all this land to open up a rich guy zoo, and he had hippos brought in. Pablo was picked off by the police who go to his property, Hacienda Nápoles, to take control, and somehow four hippos got loose. One thing leads to another, and now there are believed to be 80-100 hippo offspring running around the country. Now it’s a problem.

To be blunt, scientists think it’s time to pump these cocaine hippos full of lead, just like Pablo.

“Nobody likes the idea of shooting a hippo, but we have to accept that no other strategy is going to work,” ecologist Nataly Castelblanco-Martínez told The Telegraph.

What’s the problem? These hippos produce toxic dumps and urine that are causing havoc on the ecosystem. These toxic dumps are well-known to the scientific world. In 2007, experts at South Africa’s Kruger National Park started noticing a large number of animals were dying at a dam. It turns out, the animals died after drinking the water. The hippos had been taking dumps, and their toxic sewage caused these deaths.

Now Colombia finds itself in a battle against these cocaine hippos and their dumps.

“Everyone has a price. The important thing is to find out what it is,” Escobar reportedly once said. As for the hippos, it sounds like they will soon find out their price. Stay tuned.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.


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