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Nicole Kidman’s New Face, Charles Barkley’s Latest Knee-Slapper & Front Row Amy’s Back In Milwaukee

Let’s start with the fact that I found hundreds of TNML emails in my ‘Junk’ folder

There I was Wednesday night at the computer trying to figure out why I wasn’t receiving messages from two emailers. No emails were showing up. Of course, my wife says, “Did you check the junk folder?” because that was part of our vows nearly 12 years ago when we got married.

There they were, the emails I was expecting AND HUNDREDS OF TNML EMAILS THAT I NEVER SAW through most of April.

Talk about a huge kick in the nuts on a Wednesday night when all I wanted to do was sit down and watch violence out of the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. I haven’t even gone through all the messages, but I want those of you who emailed in April only to have those emails fall on deaf ears to know that I’m not ignoring you. You’ve been moved over to the ‘Inbox’ and hopefully, that solves the issue.

Here’s an example of an email that ended up in the ‘Junk’ for some unexplainable reason that Google needs to answer for:

Don I. in Lakeside, CA wrote on April 30:

Like so many of the responses, I am late to the TNML sticker request party. Caps is the best thing on the net and first thing I look forward to reading in the am. I may have been hesitant to reply as I live in San Diego and can’t compare to any of the weather issues many of your readers share. Hats off to the hardcores out there. Only “problem” I have is year-round maintenance requirements. The wife and I are getting close to retirement and been contemplating a place outside of this ridiculous state, however, both being born and raised here we are weather wussies.. That said, all of the people I know here (that haven’t already moved) still believe in the same thing the great people accross this nation do- hard work and FREEDOM.

Pic attached is of what is considered a “large yard” for the commoner in Southern CA. It was put down in 97 and survived 4 golden retrievers, a craigslist mutt, and 100s of effn gophers. My landscaper (son) moved off to college so I’m back at it on Thursday nights with the trusty 21″ Craftsman. Here we roll with Bud Lights and Vans in place of the Busch Lights and NB, but at heart, I believe the SC community is all the same. Firepit will be going in soon.Keep up the great work and if there is another batch of stickers in work, I’ll proudly display one here on the west coast.

Semper Fi,

####

Are you kidding me, Google? You filtered that to the junk folder. Shame on your asshole computer systems for such a move. Don’s 115% my target audience. The guy loves FREEDOM, beers, mowing, the patio pool life and that easy-livin’ lifestyle.

Now, I have to go back into the junk folder and figure out what other messages I’ve missed lately. This is probably a 12-pack job from the look of things. I’ll probably wait until it hits the mid-80s next week and do it out on the patio that has been calling my name.

Conclusion: If you emailed me and never saw it make the TNML roundup, Google will pay the price. Keep sending me your reports. We will overcome this nightmare scenario. And if you emailed me only to have me ghost your email because it was in the junk folder, keep emailing. I will push right through this Google junk debacle.

On the old fart demographic rising up

• Screencaps Rookie of the Year hopeful Galen in Tennessee writes:

Hey Joe,

I have noticed a recent uptick in Screencaps submissions from old guys, old farts, and retirees, etc. Is this a trend or just a little spike in traffic from a demographic that you have not heard from very much? Have you awakened the sleeping beast and motivated them (us) to become involved in this daily celebration of averageness? Is our great country FINALLY turning the corner and realizing that being a normal guy with a normal family living a normal life with normal thoughts is not a racist, homophobic, alphabet-hating neanderthal? Arise silent majority!

I tend to believe the ‘Caps community is a collection of good people that want the best for our country. My age group (let’s get it out of the way…Boomers) has gotten a bad rep in the last few years, and for some reasons, rightfully so.

But, as time has passed, and with it, the “OK, Boomer” phase, look at our culture now as compared to just a few short years ago. What a change! Surely the demographic disparaging the “age challenged” has realized many of their decisions, causes, organizations, and actions have resulted in failed social ideals that had no chance for success. Cliche as it may be, “if you do not learn from history then you are doomed to repeat it.”

So, Joe, as you reach out to your loyal following for advice to help the readers, thank you so much for giving a voice to us that have been there and done that. I hope we can help the community with a little wisdom from our perspective. Maybe we can even skew the demographics of Screencaps traffic!

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I have multiple responses to this one so let’s use the numbered list WordPress option that I love so much because it breaks up the posts and scientists have determined that a reader’s eye is attracted to lists, hence why Maxim would do 84 Must-See Movies Before You Die headlines on its covers for years.

  1. The old fart community has been a sleeping giant around here for the last two years. It was just a matter of showing the old farts it is possible for them to have fun on the Internet and do something other than get into Facebook wars that were wasting away precious minutes of their lives. Facebook is programmed to make you fight it out with a perceived enemy and comment on posts, which will lead to more comments, more fighting, more clicks, more return visits, and more alerts to your phones which will then trigger you to return.
  2. My plan going way back to 2007 when I started my Internet journey was simple: My goal was to entertain a man who was about to lose his house, his marriage, his 401k, visitation with his kids through the week, and hopefully put one smile on his face per day. Needless to say, it was an ambitious plan.
  3. Old farts are buying into the plan. They love this ‘Best Damn Column on the Planet *as named by readers’ because it’s making them happy and think of everything they love in life. Just think of some Medicare-aged dude in a doctor’s office sitting there about to get a report on his health. He can look up at the TV that’s probably showing the batshit crazy idiots on ‘The View’ or he can grab his phone and read what Indy Daryl’s up to in his yard or cruise through the Instagram models to see what they’re doing in Ibiza while also watching a video on how to cook a tomahawk over a fire pit.
  4. Marketers aren’t big fans of the Boomers unless it’s the pill companies. Guys, I’ll say it again. When the rest of the world zigs, I zag. OutKick Copy Editor Dr. Cortney reminded me of that Wednesday afternoon. So I’m happy the Madison Ave. suits ignore the Boomers. That leaves a HUGE swath of the United States to Screencaps.
  5. Now, pass the word to your fellow Boomers who are screaming at people on Facebook. There’s a better place for them. And it’s much more FUN here.

On concerts

• Beau in Toledo perked up over this subject. He’s only lived in one of the rock concert hotbeds for decades. The GOAT of Toledo writes:

Jonathan S. and his concert question wonderfully reminds me of why I have a long-term case of tinnitus.  We won’t discuss the past vehicles with amps and subs until another day, though.     

“Best” concerts are hard to quantify, as most entertainers give it their best every damn night.     

My first concert was actually Chuck Mangione on his FEELS SO GOOD tour… I was 7.  There was a big mistake a few years later… Mom gave me the choice of a stereo system for my bedroom or Bob Segur tix… I figured He’d tour again… I chose poorly.      

After that, it was LOUD.      

Not in any chronological or quality order:  Georgia Satellites opening for ZZ Top, Def Leppard’s HYSTERIA and ADRENALIZE tours(Live in the Round was awesome).  White Zombie opening for Korn in the old Sports Arena (dubbed the Sweat Arena, where I attended my first hockey game watching the GoalDiggers). Queensryche’s OPERATION MINDCRIME tour (tesla sucked).   

@TedNugent multiple times… kinda mandatory for the 419, and always a great show.  Mad Dog Mike at Put-In-Bay is another. Yes, I went to see Yanni for the LIVE AT THE ACROPOLIS tour, and still play that cd on occasion.  Gravity Kills was great in one of the old theaters in downtown Toledo (Bijou?) Help me there, Joe… it was torn down to make way for that bank-sponsored arena. 

(Ed. note: Yes, it was the Bijou. It was a downtown Toledo theater treasure that we will never see again because it would cost a fortune to build these days.)

Also the concert where I found myself in my first of many mosh pits!).  KISS, on I think their second of many “farewell” tours. Brad Paisley (a phenomenal guitar player) and Rascal Flatts (Darius Rucker opened for both tours; he’s so much fun!), Zac Brown Band, and even Carrie Underwood, when the Wife’s bestie got sick and I went in place.     

Too many “Party in the Park”  in downtown Toledo shows to remember.     If I was forced to pick a top 5, it would be in no order because, well, if you were there, you’d know why: The aforementioned @DefLeppard tour (Live in the Round for Hysteria), @KidRock at the tiny Erie Street Market for the DEVIL WITHOUT A CAUSE tour(not joking; the set he did was frickin’ killer),  Rush’s last stop in Toledo(yes, Neal Peart is the best drummer ever, and i will fight for that hill with every {overplayed} Zeppelin fan who’ll argue for John Bonham, who was frickin’ awesome). 

Motley Crue’s last stop in Toledo (11th row on the floor for that one…Tommy Lee’s drum solo show was a show in itself).  Then there was The Millennium Show in the Pontiac Silverdome on Dec 31, 1999, which featured Sevendust, Kid Rock, Nugent, and Metallica. I modified a fan club entry form to fake Floor Ticket wristbands for my then-girl and I…yes, we ended up in the mosh pit in front of the stage.  Right before midnight, all 4 groups came out with their Families to watch the ball drop in NYC on the screens, then members of all 4 bands, together covered DETROIT ROCK CITY for the encore.     

Dare I add on to Jonathan’s inquiry and ask how many SC Readers have been to Broadway shows?    FIDDLER ON THE ROOF twice, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA four times(twice front row), and well before wokeness, THE LION KING, the best production i have ever witnessed to this date.

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Beau brings up Kid Rock. During my first two years of college, Kid Rock was playing Toledo like once or twice a month as his big expansion out of Detroit. He was just the white rapper out of Detroit that east Toledo people went nuts over.

And now look at the guy.

• Ken S. in North Augusta, SC writes:

Jonathan S. asked about concerts. I’m involved in promoting concerts, so I see a lot of performers. Neither of the 2 groups here are “big names”, but they put on the BEST live shows I’ve seen in over a decade.

1 – The Screaming Orphans…Four sisters from Bundoran, Ireland, perform “Trad” Celtic and original pop. They occasionally tour in the U.S.A., but seem to spend most of their time in Ireland. Excellent musically, great rapport with the audience, and very entertaining. If you ever have a chance to see them, be sure and go.

2 – Pleasure Chest…blues, soul & rock and roll. Mainly play around Asheville, NC, sometimes get down to the coast of South Carolina. Very eclectic repertoire, talented lineup, and a great way to spend an evening.

One additional and completely different suggestion – Lee Ann Womack…Leans toward traditional country, delightful personality, and a fabulous voice. If I were a singer I’d NEVER want to follow her onstage.

Hope these suggestions are useful.

Thanks for ScreenCaps – always interesting and entertaining!

• Dan McM. shares this excellent email:

Joe,

Been to many shows over the years.  Lots of metal concerts in the 80’s and 90’s.   Slayer at the Arlington Theater in Indianapolis was probably the most memorable and the original Monsters of Rock tour seen at the Hoosier Dome was probably overall the best. 

Fast forward to having 3 daughters.  All of our girls love music and going to shows.  The only downside is that the shows we go to are almost all pop or boy band shows.    We’ve seen Bieber, Styles, Mendes, Miley, Taylor, 1D, BTR, and others (if you know all those, you’ve got daughters too). 

As a family we’ve been all over the Midwest for concerts and also planned vacations around specific shows.  A boy band that my girls fell in love with several years ago called “Why Don’t We” has been our go-to show.  We’ve seen them in Louisville, St Louis, Detroit(x2), Columbus, Indianapolis(x2), and I think Nashville.  They are not huge and typically play smaller venues which is always more fun than the arena or stadium shows.  For our family, it was like being a deadhead for a few years, but following a boy band around the Midwest.  I know the songs and lyrics, even some of the dance moves.

We have a lot of fun with it.   I like to be a wise-ass sometimes and wear Maiden or Metallica shirt to the shows.  None of my girls are into sports (or the lawn) like I am, so going to concerts has been something we’ve been able to bond over as a family and make many great memories.  As of today, my girls are 21, 18, and 16 so Covid threw a wrench into some prime concert-going years.  Shows are going again and the rescheduled shows are starting to pop up too.   We just saw Bieber (again) a few weeks ago.  I think those tickets were 2 years old. 

I will admit to this….the Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium tour at Lucas Oil was amazing.  I got the girls floor seats (crazy expensive) and I sat up in the nose bleeds.  The light show and theatrics from up there was incredible.   The concert touring will always be a fond memory for me and my girls.  Don’t Blink.  Side note to the men of my generation.  My wife is infatuated with Adam Levine.   She and I have traveled seeing Maroon 5 shows, at least 7 of them.  It’s a great way to get away for a couple nights and spend some quality time with your wife!

On mowing beers

• Dave B. writes:

Saw this in the grocery store today in McKinney TX. Brewed in Houston. Just in case you hadn’t seen it.

Stay the course…

• Mike McC. in Birmingham writes:

Serve, pivot, teach, pivot, cut grass, pivot….and so on…Just keep your eye on the ball…the next generation is your legacy. God-fearing, freedom-loving, capitalists.  Nothing better. Birmingham is an interesting market.  Please connect if there is anything I can do to help with your next pivot.

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I want the Birmingham-based readers to be on high alert for July. I might be in your area. More on that later.

On Callin’ the Dawgs!

• Sam L. invited me to his Georgia tailgate, but I was concerned about how often I’d be Callin’ during a tailgate. Sam writes:

Heck yeah we call the Call the Dawgs all day!  But as a group – generally every hour or so.  Also with Jägerbombs.

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What? Jägerbombs? Let’s call the Dawgs, Sam! Now we’re talkin’.

On a variety of things, but the grill thing caught my eye

• Gerard W. writes:

Jonathon S was asking about concerts so I  wanted to share a great Hole in the wall place that has great cover bands every weekend during the summer.  The Pysco Silo Saloon https://www.thepsychosilo.com/  is located just off of Interstate 80 at exit 45 in Illinois.  As you can see by the pictures that this is the ultimate Hole in the wall bar. 

It is completely outside and is only open on the weekends in the summer.  A local bought this old grain elevator for his man cave and to store all his old junk that his wife hated seeing every day.  It didn’t take long for his buddies to talk him into opening it as a bar.  Well, as you can see it has grown to a destination.  My wife and I were able to come here several times in the summer of 2020 and 2021 to just feel normal.  We never saw a single mask and enjoyed great cover bands.   Don’t let the Biker vibe keep you away.  You will be welcomed from Mini Van to tractor.  We will also be riding the UTV here at some point this summer.

Did you ever purchase a grill or Blackstone?  I see Weber has an attachment that you can remove the grates to make it a griddle.   Maybe you can get the best of both worlds before you purchase that pellet smoker down the road?

Keep up the great work!  I appreciate the earlier morning postings!

P.S.  There is a great song playing on Hard Rock radio that is a big F U to Cancel Culture.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDz1Er2IXA  You mentioned Alice in Chains once (Alice was my favorite early 90’s band) and was hoping you would appreciate some modern hard rock.  “Zombified” by Falling in Reverse just plain rocks!

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I haven’t purchased a grill because it’s been 45 degrees for six months and the patio wasn’t calling. But now that I have that junk mail to go through on the patio, I’m going to need a grill, and this news about a griddle attachment has my full attention.

The work is piling up!

That said, this is a good stopping point. Let’s get to work. Have a great day across this incredible country and don’t forget it’s Thursday and that yard needs to look amazing for Mother’s Day. Get to it. The last thing you want to be doing is rushing around Saturday while you should be out buying geraniums for the wife.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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    • Oh, sh#t… That said, he cleaned up from just a few years ago when he looked like grandpa with the foul ball. Not sure I’d feel comfortable driving that go-cart around with the plastic gas tank so close to my face, I know weight & balance is a thing, but I might put it behind me.

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