Ben Simmons Lists His Massive New Jersey Millennial Dream House

PublishedOctober 21, 2021 4:08 PM EDT|UpdatedOctober 21, 2021 4:08 PM EDT

Are you a millennial looking to blow through some of your Bitcoin fortune on a massive New Jersey residence with a gamer room, a club where you can party with your fellow Bitcoin millionaires and all sorts of Architectural Digest finishes? Well, 76ers bad boy Ben Simmons, who's clearly on his way out of Philadelphia, listed his mansion this week with an asking price of $4,999,999.

This behemoth boasts 10,477 sq. ft. of living space that has been partitioned into five bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms, and has the look of the most upscale listings you'll ever see while scrolling through Facebook.

Put it this way, a woman wearing a Coachella hat and her 30-year-old Bitcoin billionaire husband are going to fall in love with this place that was built in 2019.

The house is positioned just perfect for a growing family of 4-5 kids who need space to roam, stream Twitch, watch movies, etc.

From Simmons' realtor:

Discover this extraordinary property situated at the end of a cul-de-sac with the most meticulous attention to detail and unsurpassed custom quality. This home has been masterfully designed by the talented team Widell & Boschetti. The grand entrance foyer is perfected by a beautiful staircase and provides expansive views of the rear grounds.

The spectacular chef’s kitchen features 2-inch mitered Cambria quartz, double oversized islands, Wolf and Sub-Zero appliances, and custom cabinetry. The formal dining room features a spectacular wine wall and adjacent is a wet bar and a dry bar with ice machine, beverage fridge, wine cooler, and a large walk-in pantry.

The first floor also has large bedroom with ensuite bathroom, expansive main office with custom built-in shelving and french doors, a powder room, and an additional room that can be used as a playroom/second office/dog room and a second back staircase. Extensive millwork and white oak hardwood floors prevail throughout.

Yeah, the place is real nice. It should be. It's two years old. The walls should still have that new house paint smell. Now for some advice when your realtor starts negotiating with Simmons' team: ask for the place furnished.

Look, you don't want the hassle of going through 20 Architectural Digest books picking out all the furnishings. Ben has barely used this place. He doesn't want to live there anymore. He doesn't want to be anywhere near this house or Philly. Of course he'll sell it furnished.

Yes, you'll need to get a few things for Colton, Casten, Cameron, Cammile & Cailey, but you won't have to blow through more Bitcoin to buy coaches and furnishings for the lower-level club.

Mortgage: $21,000/mo. or so before you figure in maid service (making at least $30/hr. these days) and a chef to keep the meals coming. You're probably looking at a $30k nut to pay for this place on a monthly basis. Remember: New Jersey taxes! Those are never going down.