Miller Lite, Coors Light Sales Soar As Bud Light Plummets

In the least shocking news of the day, Miller Lite and Coors Light sales have taken off like a rocket (not Elon's) as Bud Light continues to gets left on shelves across America.

What do they say? Go Woke, Go Broke? Yeah -- that seems applicable here.

According to beer industry news site Brewhound, while Bud Light numbers have been in decline for weeks, "Coors Light increased dollar sales (+10.7%), volume (+5.5%) and dollar share (+1.5%), while Miller Lite increased dollar sales (+16.9%), volume (+11.7%) and dollar share (+2.3%) for the week ending in April 8."

Bud Light numbers down, Miller Lite up after Dylan Mulvaney incident

Can't imagine why Anheuser-Busch's VP of marketing is reportedly taking a "leave of absence."

While the folks over at Yuengling, Coors and Miller are throwing parties right now, it's all hands on deck over at Dylan Mulvaney Light.

While Miller Lite and Coors are flying off the shelves right now, that same Brewhound report noted that Bud Light posted declines in off-premise dollar sales (nearly -7%), volume (-10.7%) and dollar share (-3.7%) that same week.

By comparison, for the week ending April 1, Bud Light recorded declines in dollar sales (-1.6%), volume (-6.4%), and dollar share (-0.7%), according to data.

"This will be interesting to monitor over upcoming weeks to see if this slide continues, but for now it looks to be rough, but not catastrophic," consultant Dave Williams told the outlet.

“I have no doubt that certain regions of the U.S., and even more so certain states/markets saw sharper declines than others and the deeper we dig, the more volatility we see,” he continued. “We’ll be tracking this into next week’s data as well, which would include the Easter holiday weekend (and spring break for some markets).”

Personally, I went with a Yuengling last night in the same bar I've always slugged Mic Ultras, so ... I'm guessing the next set of numbers ain't gonna be much better.

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.