Mich Ultra Bandit Wanted By Louisiana Police

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What could possibly be going on in a person’s life to where going on a beer run & walking out with $357.20 worth of Michelob Ultra is on the table and comes off as a good idea? Stocking up to crush the diet plan in 2021? Getting a jump start on watching the cals heading into a “new year, new me” mindset?

Police in Gonzales, Louisiana have to be puzzled over this one from late November that they finally posted on Facebook, seeking help to bring the Mich Ultra Bandit to justice.

“On November 23, 2020 at approximately 3:00 pm, the below pictured female walked out of the Rouses Supermarket in Gonzales, LA with a basket full of alcoholic beverages valued at $357.20. She made no attempt to pay for the items,” the Gonzales PD wrote on Facebook.

“The female then fled the store parking lot in a white Lincoln MKX crossover (Year 2011-2015).”

Gonzales is a city of 10,000 residents. Word spread fast that the Mich Ultra Bandit was on the loose. Tips started flying in, and less than 24 hours after putting out an all-points bulletin, the PD thinks they have a tip that can crack this cold case.

“Thanks to everyone for pointing us in her direction! We appreciate it!,” the PD said.

Woman wanted by police stolen Michelob Ultra
via City of Gonzales (LA) Police Department
Stolen Michelob Ultra getaway car
via City of Gonzales (LA) Police Department

On November 23, 2020 at approximately 3:00 pm, the below pictured female walked out of the Rouses Supermarket in…

Posted by City of Gonzales Police Department on Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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  1. Michelob Ultra? Seriously? I’m taking a wild guess that this big boned woman of Gonzales, Louisiana will throw down a double bacon, chase it with a side of criss cuts with ranch on the side and then in order to adhere to her strict diet, wash it all down with a diet coke.

  2. Honestly seems more of humiliation, like a virtual stoning somebody. Seems aggressive to be publicly putting effort into $300 of insured beer, with paying officer hrs etc. Not saying that I feel bad for lady or huge problem but I can’t imagine if somebody stole something worth $300 from me they would use facebook to catch them. Seems more for entertainment purposes unless they are using page for this kind of stuff literally all the time.

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