Mexican Weather Girl Yanet Garcia Misses The Tropics, Wrigley Field Bleacher Brawl & Man Sues Wife For Destroying Jersey
Let's do some Screencaps housekeeping
I spent last night finalizing teams for Screencaps Gauntlet leagues and we have one open league that needs four more participants. Your captain will be Tom M., who is fired up and wants to fill this league so they can get prepped for their draft.
Let me know if you can/want to fill one of those spots. The first four emailers are in.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
I was happy to see our resident football referee Michael F. step up to run a league. Participants are in for a treat as they start screaming about getting screwed by the refs. Michael will be right there to set them straight. That league is the one I'll have my eyes on this fall.
Next....what happened to the Thursday Night Mowing League recaps? I completely apologize for missing the last two weeks. Between being on the road and a rainout last week, I've been underperforming my duties as commissioner, and that all changes this week.
I promise to do better.
Other items on my list:
Gauntlet questions
• Andy F. writes:
Good morning Joe,
Absolutely loved yesterday's Screencaps.
Brent P’s description of the Wiffle ball tournament was a 10.
My question is about the Gauntlet league. I’ve recruited a group of eight and our draft is next week. We are all new and would love some hints from someone who has played before. For example, what happens if someone puts up a bad team and nobody bids?
What is a good strategy: 4 25$ teams or a 70 and 3 10s?
Any help appreciated or the email of an experienced player would be great.
Thanks.
Remember, the person who nominates the next team up for auction needs to put up a $1 bid behind that team.
I might have forgotten to make that announcement in the rules. If you nominate the Texans, you're starting the bidding at $1.
As for a good strategy, that's something you'll have to work through your own brain. Look for value. Feel out the ambition of your fellow league members. If they are aggressive early, there's a good chance they're going to run out of money late and you should be able to grab steals and not be left with garbage bottom-of-the-barrel NFL teams to fill out your roster.
Advice for Jason D. as his wife turns 40
Jason D., who has been dealing with seizures for the last two years, needed advice on how to handle his wife's 40th birthday while knowing she doesn't want to be away from him.
• Roger V.B. writes:
I think your advice to Jason was pretty solid. I’ve had nocturnal seizures for almost 30 years now (but only 2 in the last 10) and they are scary as hell for everyone involved.
Coming out of a seizure can take a long time, and you don’t have any idea who you are or where you are or when it even is as you come out. (I came to my senses 2 blocks away in my boxer shorts once when my wife and kids were out of town - not good).
If Jason has kids (and it sounds like he does) he does not want to put them in a position to deal with that while she’s away, and neither does his wife. The good news is there are a LOT of seizure medications out there; it just could take some time to find the right one and the right dose. Then he can make up for lost time and send his wife away. Besides taking a giant horse pill 30 minutes before I go to bed, my life now is completely unaffected.
If he HAS to be home alone at night, he should pull the mattress down on the floor so he doesn’t fall out of bed or smack a nightstand. Try to block any exits also. Of course everyone is different, but booze is a trigger for a lot of folks, so he should lay off that on solo nights as well (pretty ironic, right!?) Good luck, Jason.
• Britt T. writes:
Since his seizures happen while he’s sleeping, he should do what I did a few years ago for my wife. Pick out a handful of her closest friends, schedule a “Day Event” for the group to go to wherever is cool down the road to eat, drink, and shop, get a limo, and get party favor bags of some sort for all participants. My wife and her buddies went to Georgetown in DC and she LOVED it (as did her friends). Left about 10:00 in the morning, back mid-evening. My deal was a surprise for my wife, so that added to the event, but they will have a big time whether it’s a surprise or not. Tell Jason I’m happy to assist further if needed.
• Tara P. writes:
Hey Joe,
While I anxiously await all that the college and NFL football seasons will bring to screencaps, I thought I would help a fella out... As a 44 year old woman I have insight for 40th birthday ideas.
1) Not sure what grade the wife teaches, but would be awesome if middle or high school, he could arrange for some band members to come play Happy Birthday or if lower grades hire a singing quartet (we still have one in Chattanooga).
2) Since wife doesn't like to spend time away, he could arrange for the wife and her friends to "pre-game" at a decent hotel nearby if one is worthy. I'm thinking suite type arrangements. He or the friends can decorate the room that morning, he can provide the snacks and drinks prior to the dinner he will send her to with her friends. They can get ready there, drink, snack and then Uber to the restaurant. He should try to make it mandatory that she not come home till after midnight or later.
3) Or he could arrange a spa day for her friends that's starts in the morning with massages, nails, hair and end with the dinner somewhere cool.
Wish Jason D all the best and really any "grand" gesture I am sure will be loved by his wife. Sometimes it's just nice to be loved "BIG".
• Chris B. writes:
Hi, Joe — In a stunning upset, I woke up yesterday on my 24th anniversary and my beloved wife was still there (against her better judgement). That said, I have a couple of suggestions for our friend Jason:
1) NO NO NO NO on the pillow or anything remotely practical for a gift. You don’t sound like the kind of guy who ignores his wife except on holidays, so just get her that pillow (or whatever) on a regular nothing-special day. If you’re going to give her a gift, make it something personal — doesn’t have to be intimate, but something that shows her that you know her. Maybe even something that she mentioned once in a random moment but giving it to her shows that you listen. You do listen, don’t you? And don’t give it to her in front of other people; keep it between the two of you.
2) Maybe take the girls to a really nice restaurant, but you drive. Rent one of those nice passenger vans if you need to, leave your credit card with the hostess*, and park yourself somewhere close by. Even better, if you live close, go home and clean the hell out of the house. Maybe get the kids to pitch in, unless they’re sleeping elsewhere. Or have the babysitter pitch in for a few extra shekels and have an ‘all hands on deck’ cleaning party. When they’re ready to go home after too much wine, you’re a few minutes away with the van and sober enough to drive them all home.
*Nothing spoils a group dinner like that one beyotch — male or female — who doesn’t want to just split the check equally.
3) I’m guessing she would rather go away with you than go away from you and the kids, so maybe you can schedule something for a weekend when she can really relax?
Weather break
Screencaps reader Lee D. likes to send me cool weather shots he finds on his social media feeds. This one is pretty good.
Country roads take me home...and bring my daughter with you!
• Jess in Alabama made it all the way to the bottom of Tuesday's Screencaps where she spotted the infamous and crude West Virginia 'Back to School' banners. It's tradition at WVU.
Jess writes:
Hopefully none of those dads writing in about dropping daughters off at college did so at West Virginia…
Thanks as always for keeping us entertained & less stressed due to no social media!
It's interesting Jess mentions it because I have an old friend who dropped off his daughter at WVU a couple of weeks ago and Tom was the first dad I thought of when I saw those banners.
On Dax's random thoughts
• Mark W. in Franklin, TN, a highly-respected member of this community, writes:
Dax is spot on in his observations. I am several years older than him, and I have to tell you that as you age, hair cells die; skin cells die; but fat cells must have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior because they live eternally. Once you cross 50, your “check engine” light is going to come on and it never goes off. That’s why it is so important to take care of yourself while you are young.
Great stuff as always! Thanks
And with that, let's get moving on this Wednesday morning. The sun is out. The birds are chirping. It's still summer. Don't let the pumpkin spice latte crowd win the day. Go have a strong day.
Oh, and never forget you live in the greatest country known to man.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com