Mexican Mayor Takes One For The Team, Marries A Caiman — An Alligator-like Reptile — As Part Of Ritual For Good Fortune

The mayor of a small rural town in Mexico has tied the know with a large, alligator-like reptile known as a caiman... and if you think she's rough to look at, you should see his new mother-in-law!!!!!

No, but seriously, this man really did marry a reptile at least in a ceremonial sense.

According to AFP, Victor Hugo Sosa, mayor of San Pedro Huamelula. I know I don't have to tell you this, but that's a small town of Indigenous Chontal people in the Tehuantepec isthmus of Mexico. But, again, you knew that.

His lovely bride — remember it's always polite to say "lovely" bride is a female caiman named Alicia Adriana, and their wedding was part of an ancestral ritual. It symbolizes the union of local indigenous groups some 230 years ago, which is way more recent than I would've thought.

Seriously, I saw this referred to as an ancient ritual. It's newer than Independence Day.

Regardless, it's a very unique celebration that has deep symbolic meaning. One of the indigenous groups that was united back in the day was symbolized by a caiman. that's where the tradition comes from.

That's all well and good, but this is also the kind of backstory one cooks up if they simply want an excuse/justification for marrying a reptile.

Caiman Bride Means Cheap Gift; Everyone Wins

While on its face it's incredibly odd (and beyond its face too), as a wedding guest, it's as good as it gets.

Before the wedding, guests danced with the caiman and gave it gifts. This is where you really save some money as a guest. Forget shelling for some ornate gravy boat or a breadmaker the happy couple will sell at their next garage sale. Anyone that showed up to this wedding with a sack of raw chicken was on the bride's Christmas good side for life.

That's all it'd take.

"The ritual marriage symbolizes link with what is the emblem of Mother Earth, asking the all-powerful for rain, the germination of the seed, all those things that are peace and harmony for the Chontal man," per Jaime Zarate, an expert on San Pedro Huamelula,

"I accept responsibility because we love each other. That is what is important. You can't have a marriage without love… I yield to marriage with the princess girl," Sosa said during the wedding; "Princess girl" being what they call the caiman.

While this ritual seems crazy, there were some safety precautions taken. The bride's mouth was tied shut. That sounds like the setup for a Borscht Belt comedian's punchline about how "that should be standard practice for all weddings), but in this case it was necessary. Lest they want someone leaving the shindig with one fewer hand than they had when they showed up.

Congrats to the happy couple and the rest of the folks in San Pedro Huamelula.

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Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.