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Matthew McConaughey Says America Is Going Through Puberty

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“Alright, alright, alright.” Lady Liberty’s voice is about to start changing, she’s likely to go up a cup size or two, and those boys she used to refer to as gross and obnoxious will soon be described as handsome and humorous. Matthew McConaughey said as much when he took to Twitter to wish America a happy birthday and to comment on that awkward stage America is going through:

“…but let’s also remember that we’re babies as a country. We’re basically going through puberty in comparison to other countries’ timeline, and we’re going to go through growing pains,” said McConaughey.

When he wasn’t comparing the great US of A to the awkward stages of pre-adulthood, McConaughey was celebrating America’s 245th birthday and looking back on the year that was: “As we celebrate our independence today, as we celebrate our birth as a nation, the day that kick-started a revolution to gain our sovereignty, let’s admit that this last year, this trip around the sun, was also another head-scratcher.”

Between that first pubescent shave and the initial task of debating which deodorant application is most effective – roll on or spray (for the non-millennials out there), the puberty phase can be a little…hairy. But as far as McConaughey is concerned, Americans can’t let obstacles (or puberty) stand in the way of our evolution: “This is not an excuse, this is just the reality, and this is good, because we gotta keep learning, we gotta keep maturing, we gotta keep striving, we gotta keep climbing, we gotta keep building. And we gotta make sure we maintain hope along the way, as we continue to evolve.”

Between the Fourth of July hangover and McConaughey’s comments, we can’t blame you if you’re feeling a bit dazed and confused.

 

 

 

 

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

13 Comments

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  1. 245 years is young as a nation, for sure.
    And yes, there are ‘growing pains’ going on.
    I guess he wanted to keep it positive, otherwise he mighta mentioned that double standards and blatant censorship gotta stop…

    “Let’s rock, America. Happy Birthday! Just keep livin…”

    I’ll take that over anything from LeFraud / CNN / Biden & Co…

  2. Blah blah blah…thank you for that fortune cookie wisdom. Run for governor of California, or Mayor of Austin. Texas has enough Democrats flooding into the state. They don’t need one disguised as a Republican running for Governor.

  3. You know a perspective I don’t think we’ve heard enough from the last 5 years? Actors. Their experience is so vital to our understanding. So glad he’s found his voice. I really can’t wait to hear more and more about what he thinks of this country. Let me get my notepad. 🙄

    • Haha, yep. Once upon a time actors were no different than a traveling circus, wagon-bound, traveling from town to town for a few laughs and a good show. I can’t remember the last time carnie workers were given a platform for opining on domestic and/or world affairs.

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