Maria Sakkari Threatens Crazy Opponent Who Kept Screaming; Wins Anyway

I don't pretend to know the first thing about tennis. Frankly, I didn't even know the Australian Open was going on this week.

If we're being honest, my tennis knowledge is basically Pete Sampras, Andre Aggasi, and the fact that it's just a giant game of ping pong. That's about it.

But here's what I do know - the ladies of tennis scare the hell out of me. You know why? Because they make noises after they hit the ball that I didn't know they were capable of.

Yes, fine. Go ahead and insert your sex joke here. That's cool.

Anyway, they scream, shout, grunt, and shriek every single time they hit the ball. Always have, always will.

And, apparently, some don't like it ... which we found out during Tuesday's match between Maria Sakkari and Diana Shnaider.

Australian Open features epic shouting match between Maria Sakkari, Diana Shnaider

Wowzers. It's the death stare and finger wag that does it for me. That little look and wag would make me shut the hell up for the rest of the match and just try to get out of there in one piece.

And how about the commentators here? How do they not know what's going on? If I can piece it together, they can too. Be better.

Anyway, Sakkari was NOT having any of those stupid celebrations, and quickly put an end to it like a parent disciplining their unruly kid.

"Do it again, and it's no TV for a week." Works every time. Or, you know ...

Maria Sakkari in action against Diana Shnaider and her yelling. (Photo by Robert Prange/Getty Images)

"If she screams one more time in my face. No, no, no, no, one more time… she’s coming toward me. One more time and I’m going to speak to the referee," Sakkari said during the second set of the 18-year-old Russian.

Yep. I'd shut up after that. No interest in seeing what happens after "one more time."

In the end, it was no harm, no foul for Sakkari, who ended up winning in three sets. And hey, after the match she even praised Shnaider and advised her to turn pro.

All's well that ends well.

"It was a very high level from both of us. She played an amazing match," she said via Tennis 365. "She’s very young, she’s very promising. Maybe she should consider not going to college and turning pro."