There are wild ways of being kicked out of a casino early on a Friday morning, and then there’s taking things to the next level in the form of telling authorities you have a grenade stuck up your butt and you have to fart.
Brian Gower, 46, was found wandering around the Stratosphere Feb. 2 and threatening to blow up the building and allegedly telling authorities he was “Joe Rogan 2.0” and he “had a grenade in his ass and he wanted to fart.”
Oh hell yeah! Now that’s a police report, folks. Game time. Let’s gooooooooo!
This wild man wasn’t done just yet. As if the grenade up the ass and needing to fart wasn’t great, Gower then told police he was trying to raise awareness for bomb attacks, talked more Rogan, brought up Kim Jong-un, and told cops he had spent time in jail for choking out his wife after she became frustrated with him for thinking about mass shootings, according to a KSNV report.
As if that wasn’t enough, Gower wasn’t finished! He had more wild stored up in his brain.
He also claimed his lawyer is Saul Goodman of “Breaking Bad” fame and also told the cops all about the Illuminati.
This police report is like strolling up to the plate down two in the bottom of the 9th with two on and two outs. Then the count goes to 3-2, the home crowd is going nuts, and then you absolutely uncork a bomb to left-center that travels at least 490 feet.
This is a walk-off police report. So much action. Crowd rises to their feet. And then Brian uncorks an all-timer that the Internet will be talking about for years.
Great job, Brian. Now go get help, brother.