Lucas Glover Overcomes Brutal Case Of Swamp Ass At FedEx St. Jude Championship

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Golfer Lucas Glover led the FedEx St. Jude Championship after the first two rounds, and the man deserved it. He left everything on the course including several gallons of ass sweat.

Look, I’m not sure who thinks holding outdoor sporting events in the American Southeast is a good idea, but it continues to happen. Whether it’s an IndyCar race or a golf tournament, you know it’s going to be ungodly hot from Florida up through Tennessee and beyond.

The FedEx St. Jude Championship is being held at Memphis’ TPC Southwind, and as you’d expect it’s hot and humid.

Glover — who is coming off of a win just last weekend — unfortunately, wound up sweating buckets and some of his it managed to get through his pants.

Fox Sports Tim Brando shared a video that showed the Greenville, SC native battling some serious swamp ass on Friday.

There’s a lot of stigma around swamp ass, but it happens to the best of us. I blame moisture-wicking underwear for a noticeable uptick in modern SA (medical shorthand for swamp ass).

Those materials help pull the moisture away from the skin, but it has to go somewhere. Of course, it doesn’t evaporate into outer space or some other dimension. It simply latches on to the next layer of fabric, which is usually your pants.

Boom. Swamp ass.

Glover should have probably had his caddie walking behind him as a rear gunner to keep cameras at bay. However, he’s playing well enough in this tournament to not give a rip about a little posterior perspiration.

I wouldn’t be able to golf like that. It’d be all I’d think about. I’m not proud of this but I think in that situation, I’d come up with an excuse to “accidentally” fall into a pond.

Then no one would be the wiser… although, then I’d be the klutz who fell into the pond and I’m not sure which is worse.

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Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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