What Maniac Thought The World Needed Pumpkin Spice Mac & Cheese?

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I know it’s a huge football weekend and there will be plenty of time for that coverage when I wake up in the morning and all through the weekend, but this has to be addressed before you guys leave work two hours early and hit the bars.

There is a maniac on the loose and that maniac is responsible for bringing pumpkin spice Kraft macaroni and cheese into the world. Has humanity not suffered enough with this spice that’s “been a thing” for 3,500 years, according to History.com, but now has gone too far.

I can’t even pop into a Starbucks drive-thru in this part of Ohio because the line is 30 cars deep with women injecting pumpkin spice lattes into their forearms.

“It actually sounds disgusting,” my wife said about this new creation. She’s an expert on the spice. I sit in those half-hour lines at Starbucks for her lattes because I love her and it balances out me going golfing for five hours at a time.

Ladies, it’s time to revolt here. Save the sanctity of the spice.

Don’t you get enough of the spice when you crush one of those massive Costco pumpkin pies? Wasn’t a tall latte at Starbucks enough? Did you really have to bring us pumpkin spice Werther’s Originals? Pumpkin spice Cheerios were ridiculous. Now our treasured mac & cheese.

Enough is enough. Too far, Kraft!

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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